Food, Folklore and Fairy Tales: Creating a System(a)

Recently, I delved into a bevy of delight when Andrey Karimov and I began exchanging folklore tales via videos and images . Mostly, I found alot of translated Cossack imagery and tales that were from an antiquated book, and I was checking with him to see if he had heard of them.I am very fond of the art of alot of the stories.

But also, much to my surprise, alot of the tales very much mirrored what I grew up hearing in my own Mexican American culture...
Now , I could on and on and do a side by side analysis of the similarities and imagery, but that would be a whole nother blog...

But for now, one of the key things that I have noticed is that for the most part, the traditional tone of both cultures easily merges. As Mr. Karimov and I share You Tube videos of each other's respective cultures , whether it's song, dance,or performance, we almost always are amazed at how closely related the details are.
At one point, I asked if we had been separated at birth( he didn't respond). While Mr. Karimov takes the time to preserve his heritage, I am off and on trying to dig into mine. Having ADD makes it no easy task and I often get swept away into hours of reading something I never thought I would.
While he knows songs and folklore of his rich Cossack heritage, I can only name a few of the Mexican Folktales I remember from childhood. In fact, one of my favorite folklores , I have tattooed on my back simply because, I have no other real connection of my ancestory and it was one of my favorite tales that my grandfather told me repeatedly , when we spent time together.
This is why meeting Mr. Karimov became more than finding out about Systema. It became a virtual life shift, from the mundane, to now daily reading and studying as much as I can about both worlds. It is a huge undertaking and more than a full time job. How Mr. Karimov does this, is beyond me. I barely remember which was the last book I read a week ago, let alone...which video correlates to what topic we're talking about.
This leads me to believe that Andrey Karimov is a type of phenomenon that we rarely see in our lives. While we like to believe we all meet people for a reason...meeting Mr. Karimov at this specific time in my life , I would have to say, has been the most refreshing thing that has happened in a while. I endlessly get lost in his catalogs of videos of song, dance and music, yet his one to two word responses to my lengthy questions always delight me.
This, to me..is Systema. And while we rarely talk about actual Russian Martial Arts anymore in the "Systema" context, I am always referred back to the meaning of the word..."system". This is a system or method that we should all adapt to. Caring about each other, making connections, forming communities and reaching out to people. Nevermind the awesome training and sword work that visually speaks for itself, but through this type of friendship, we have created something more...a SYSTEM.
The closest thing I've witnessed to something similar to this in my own Hispanic culture was something that happened a few years ago when my son started public school.
I remember desperately trying to rally up members for his low performing school's PTA. I was appointed Vice President(I don't even think I ran for election) and there was a mom, Gloria, who was very active among the Hispanic population of the school(which was 65% Hispanic). Once she realized that I spoke Spanish, her and I became a force and a voice for the Hispanic families that had children in this school. I knew my son was not going to attend there the following year, so I did everything I could to prep her for becoming the school's PTA president. We poured over documents, English lessons, meeting notes(there weren't many) and anything I could think of. Together, we managed to develop two literacy programs for the school and one ESL program so parents can help tutor and learn with their kids.It was exhausting to say the least. Gloria and I rarely spoke outside of school, but one day she called me. I immediately thought something was wrong...(no one calls me, really, unless something is wrong). She asked me what I was bringing to the teacher luncheon the following day.
Because she found out I was a chef, she wanted to see if I was bringing anything spectacular..I told her I was just bringing dip...but it was really good. She laughed and asked if I wanted her to make anything from my childhood.
Now if you're Hispanic, you know this means..tamales. Part of our culture is widely based on food. So without even saying it..she told me she had already made some and was going to save extra for me.
The next day at the luncheon, Gloria and I met in the hallway..she had me follow her to the room where the food was going to be served. When I walked into the room , I all but dropped my pathetic dip with bread bowl, I had spent a total of 15 minutes making. There, in all it's glory, was a buffet fit for several kings. There were about thirteen other hispanic women and Gloria, still working on food preparations. One of the women took my dip from my hands and handed me a plate. The look on my face must have said it all...because she then grabbed my arm and walked me to the first section of food. I was in complete , utter , food anthropology heaven. Some of these women were from El Salvador and South America. Most are from Mexico and none, not one, understood why I was about to cry.
All I remember doing was hugging each of them and getting really, really emotional. While they laughed emphatically, I remember the look on Gloria's face.... she winked at me and in that instant, I knew we had formed a small community. And despite my food geekiness, the women filled my plate with way more food than I could ever imagine. A week or so later, Gloria invited me to her son's birthday party. I asked her if she needed any help and all she said was "don't pass out when you see the food"(in Spanish). When I arrived at the park, there was more food in so many pots and containers than I could ever imagine. I immediately told her she needed to open a restaurant and started calling everyone I knew who had some information on how to help her. She looked at me like I was crazy...but then said" if I open a restaurant, how would I be at the school all the time?"
This was a dilemma. I told her to think about it and to invite me to every gathering she ever had for the rest of my life. And she did, until she moved.
But also, she became PTA president the very next school year. She held meetings in Spanish with an English translator, and did very well for the school. This, was a System.It was a community and probably the closest thing to forming a sustainable source effectively as possible. And it wasn't just one person, it was a few of us...but we did it.
When I look into Mr. Karimov's world, I notice that everyone magically works together. There aren't too many days that go by that I don't communicate with him, and there are even a few days here and there that I talk to some of his instructors from other countries. And seemingly, we are all on the same page. It is such a great feeling to know that this exists, albeit a zillion miles away. It makes you really wonder why this doesn't exist here in the US? Is this an issue as a whole for martial arts? Since I do not know that many martial artists, it would be hard for me to check. I do know that my son's former martial arts instructor and I still talk frequently and I do know, that if she ever needed anything, I would be there for her and vice versa. But maybe, that is only because we clicked. I also know that if any of the people I have trained with , needed something and called me, I'd be there for them too. How could I not? We have all been through some pretty weird things together, and sweated on each other, saw some blood, some emotions...some life. It would be a great System if it stayed that way.

As I was typing this, I decided to watch "Tyson" a documentary about Mike Tyson. His former beloved coach and mentor, Cus D'Amato said this "I never teach until I’ve spoken to the fighter. I have to first determine his emotional state, get his background, to find out what I have to do, how many layers I have to keep peeling off so that I get to the core of the person so that he can recognize, as well as I, what is there."
I almost fell off my chair when I heard this. This is what ,Mr. Karimov and I had been talking about . This is not a new concept, but clearly , produces world championship results. Unfortunately, Mike Tyson fell apart once Mr. D'Amato passed away, but swears that his life would have been much worse had he not had the few impermeable years he had , with him.Imagine, if he had remained alive, the completely healthy mental shape Mike Tyson would have been in? Andrey and I have spent hours upon hours talking about the psychology of Systema. Something I never really thought much about until I asked him.And when I now say "he's my instructor" people must think , "she is crazy, he's in Russia!!"Let me be very clear. I know that. He knows that. But I have learned so much from him about the mindset of training, that I am baffled that it is not discussed here. What he has taught me, is far better from any fall or punch I have conditioned my body to take. Sure , maybe mindset and mental state are mentioned in a few books, but the sense of understanding what real Systema is, now, more than ever...has stopped me dead in my tracks.In a good way.
Now, for the life of me, I don't understand why Andrey Karimov spends so much time interacting with me, but I am truly grateful, to him and his beautiful family. It has made such a huge impact on my personal training goals and direction I would like to take and definitely has opened my eyes to a world of possibilities not only for myself, but for my family , friends and community. How can one person make such a difference? Just by being open and talking. In fact, sometimes, I watch his training videos and think, "this was the man that I just talked to about Russian Folktales?".Because, he is so very , very powerful at training, and so very enjoyable to talk to, you'd almost swear it is two different people...but that is because I had such preconceived notions of what an "instructor" and "instruction" is.I have even , in fact, asked him if it was him in all the videos and still the same person I talk to. Can a person have such a dynamic of being both a great artist and compassionate human being? Yup. And he wants everyone to feel the same. It's a System. Defined in the rawest, purest , state.
And on the heals of all this, I remembered  a picture someone sent me this morning, that made my mouth drool...

And yes, I am aware it is a religious setting, and yes, maybe I shouldn't have noticed the food first. But more importantly , I noticed just simple sense of community. Whether it be a church setting, ladies luncheon, or martial arts group meal....this is still Systema. 

click here to watch one of my favorite Systema videos of all time

Fear Mongering: How You Can Learn About Fear, For Free!!

Ever since I began my training in Systema, probably the one thing I heard over and over was the word "fear".
Now, just hearing that word, may make people start to slightly panic.That's right, if you tell people, "today, we are going to work on FEAR control", then you may get some reaction.
When someone says that to me, I immediately think of clowns.Clowns scare me. They are a legitimate fear.

Just found out this is Tim Curry, so that makes it ok.

But, in training, fear control is taught in different ways. Everyone is kinda more or less told that to control fear , they have to evolve and work through their own thresholds. Now this, as someone who has had several close calls with death, sounded completely foreign to me. How can anyone teach people how to control fear, if we all have different fear levels? How is this possible? How do you even know what my fear is, if you have just met me?
Well the answer is, it isn't fear control. It's panic control.But because that's more or less a subjective word, it is replaced with "fear". Why? Because the word "fear"sells. Quickly.If I tell you, "here, I will give you all the tools you need to defend yourself from getting attacked and to stop being scared", you may believe it. You will really believe it if you go to a seminar and watch others believe it.
But, if you've been in a close call, or near death incident, you may check your psyche.For me , personally, my fearful moments were not getting mugged, or jumped, or assaulted. My moments were: being in a burning house, hearing my son was in a horrible car accident, having a nurse tell me that I had a miscarriage.
That, is fear. Those precise moments. Also, alot of panic. But mostly, fear.There is no way, on earth, you can teach me to prepare for those moments. Why ? Because for the most part, I had no idea any of these things would happen to me . Those incidents happen so quickly, that your mind sometimes doesn't react right away(this is perhaps why PTSD sets in).
In training, in a classroom type environment(indoor or outdoor), it was impossible for me to experience even the same level of fear as any of my real life experiences. Class had a start and stop time and I felt completely comfortable getting thrown around, hit , kicked, stepped on. I did not ever experience fear. Nor would I want to.
However, across the board, the basic training for this fear control(fear of what, I'm not sure) , was breath holds. Breath holds, if you read about it in any Systema blog,book or see in a class, consist of burst breathing, breath holding, breath releasing etcetc, until you almost or in fact, do pass out. If you've ever played the "pass out game"(which many children every year die from), it is the same feeling. I've done this breath work and the results were horrible, not scary. I threw up in my own mouth once, I blacked out another time, and the last and final time I did it, I had the worst migraine I've ever had in my life. Was I scared? No.
Mad? Yes.Very. Why was I doing this? I knew what my fears were and there was no way this breaking psyche point of breath holding was going to get me there. Apparently, you are supposed to feel a sense of panic and be able to control yourself when you get to that point. The point when you should be gasping for air, you're supposed to hold out a little longer.
Um.Newsflash. I, like many people...suffer from asthma. Telling me "you know..stop breathing so you start panicking" is like telling King James how to write the Bible.
I KNOW how this feels. Again..even suffocating during an asthma attack, not the same fear as being mugged , in a fire, or hearing really bad news. Not even close.

actual picture from that day

Why? Because I have had asthma almost my whole life. I am a pro at asthma. I have the kind that no one wants. The kind that can be dormant for a year then provide me with another year of complete confusion and an array of medications.In fact, I am so calm, cool and collected during my almost choke-to-death asthma sessions, that even my own Doctor was concerned during a visit once when I arrived in her office and I was gasping for air. I was there for something completely unrelated to asthma and a certain airborne scent triggered me. By the time her nurse was checking my lungs, I was in full blown attack. My son sat and read his book and I calmly looked for my inhaler, while the doctor and nurse ran from room to room searching for a nebulizer. This is now what I feel is a result of lifelong exposure to the chaos that surrounds this disease. My calm demeanor during the attack is a result of years long panic and frantic not knowing what to do. Immersion therapy at it's finest. Because I was in a total environment with this disorder, I knew how to calmly and confidently handle the situation.
So how or what makes anyone who starts out in Systema think they can confidently handle a surprise attack? How can you train for fear, if you are not in a total "fear" environment? How do you even define your own fear levels , if you have not ever been in the situation of being attacked, randomly, unprovoked, and without warning.You know how you can do this?
Enlist.
That's right..sign up for any one of the armed forces and train. Train like you mean it. Train like you are fighting for something or someone . There are no Systema competitions, (other than the "my ego is better than your ego" ones, or "my gym has more participants than yours"), so why do any of us think we are training for a total fear environment? Because we bought into the marketing.
As I began writing this a few days ago, something really disturbing hit the news wire. A woman was beheaded in Oklahoma, by a coworker. While the level of " I told you so's" hit the internet, I sat and waited to see which martial artist was ready to capitalize on this. How did I know this would happen? Patterned behavior.
Within 24 hours a notable school here mentioned how their women's class switched to "anti-beheading measures"
Ummmmmm, what? How do you even begin to teach a class on that? Do they teach this class in countries that have frequent beheadings?  I don't know what was actually discussed in class, but a first thought would be teaching situational awareness, BUT , if you are already training in any martial arts , you should already have been taught that....I would think.
Unless, you need to be SOLD that you NEED to be taught how to protect yourself from a beheading. Other than donating all the class proceeds to the victim's family, I cannot imagine how this is possible. Unless class consisted of praying for the victim and witnesses, then I am completely , once again, face planting into my keyboard. Then, openly discussing that , this was your class topic...wha??
While I wish Systema here would stop targeting vulnerable individuals,and fear mongering groups of people,  I see the financial gain from it. Once I stepped back from the US Systema methods  and looked at international options, I realized..this is an American problem. The marketing for most classes usually consists of " protect yourself" or " know yourself" or " learn combat style", or even better, "advanced weapons training". And you know what I found? Some of the best, finest, most well rounded Systema groups and instructors, don't even advertise or have classes, AND..they will talk to you..for freeeeeeeee!
 I wish we would all question "what are we really training for?"
Are we all weekend warriors ? Are any of us really prepared for real live fear?
Everyone knows, being in battle, of any kind..is REAL fear training. A mom who's son just got diagnosed with leukemia...fear.
A mom, who sees her child's teacher on TV arrested for molestation. Fear.
A mom, who can't find her kid in a grocery store.Fear.
A dad, who's daughter goes missing after he tells her to break up with a certain male. Fear.
Seeing no movement on an ultrasound , after being pregnant for five months....fear.
Signing up for war......
These are all examples of real fear. Telling me that holding my breath until I vomit, or holding me down while six people are rolling over me..not fear. Not even close. Maybe , panic at best..but even then, class is only a few hours..so I know, it will be done.
If you have trained for Systema for more than three years, you could have easily joined the military. Not only would you receive FREE combat training, FREE uniforms and FREE travel, you would receive real live FEAR training. For free...in fact, this country will pay YOU(at some point, if you make it out alive).I dare any of us to approach any vet that just came back from a war and brag to them about how many Systema seminars we've been to, or who's school we just got back training from , or which instructor punched us while we sheepishly waited in line. Please..do tell a vet about your highly paid for combatives training, show them the shirt you paid for.See what happens.

As for myself, I will continue to face my daily fears of not knowing if I will ever recover from a spinal injection, or if I will ever heal from a tragic loss, or if I can financially maintain my household long enough for my body to get back into working order.This is fear.

Study the definitions alone, challenge yourself, your instructor, your life.

Fear is a vital response to physical and emotional danger—if we didn't feel it, we couldn't protect ourselves from legitimate threats. But often we fear situations that are far from life-or-death, and thus hang back for no good reason. Traumas or bad experiences can trigger a fear response within us that is hard to quell. 

Panic  suddenly destroying the self-control and impelling to some frantic action.

Bamboozled to deceive or get the better of (someone) by trickery, flattery, or the like; hoodwinked (often followed by into)

Learn about :
Psychological marketing .

Giving you what you need.: Out of the Mouths of Babes :How a Seven Year Old B...

Giving you what you need.: Out of the Mouths of Babes :How a Seven Year Old B...: Recently, our family was eating lunch at one of our favorite establishments . My fiancee and I were openly talking about the events that ha...

Out of the Mouths of Babes :How a Seven Year Old Broke it Down

Recently, our family was eating lunch at one of our favorite establishments. My fiancee and I were openly talking about the events that had taken place earlier in the day in front of our children (our children are very perceptive and would, quite honestly, know if something was wrong).
We had been discussing a bizarre phone call I received from a martial arts instructor that made zero sense to me. (see, Being Blindsided:How We Succumb to the Misguidance of Others).
As I tried to explain the overall tone of the conversation, and began even confusing myself, I looked over at my 7 year old stepdaughter, innocently eating her meal, tearing lettuce with her hands, piece by piece.
Typically, when I am really confused by the actions of people, I can ask any child around me at any given time and say " what do you think this means if someone does this". Their answers will amaze you.
The conversation went something like this:
 "So, this man calls me, a man I do not know, and starts to talk over me, begins telling me the path I should take in my professional martial arts training career, starts gossiping, tells me I am making a huge mistake by going to Russia, is trying to HELP me...and , I didn't even ask him.What do you think that means? I mean, I see you taking your huge chunks of lettuce and you want them to be small pieces of lettuce, what do you do?"

I glanced over at her father and said ..."Watch her break down what I need to do..."

She is quite fond of these games. We play them regularly. She very blankly looked at us and tore the chunk of lettuce into small pieces and took a bite of her meal. And said " you just tear it". I rolled over into a ball of laughter.

Yes.That's right..just tear it.

Often time as adults, we get so wrapped up in the complication of getting from point A to point B, that we forget how incredibly easy it can be to go on a the journey. We struggle, emotionally, mentally, physically. We run into all sorts of obstacles and sometimes, even stray from our path. We forget that we can just go around the obstacles and get to where we need to be. We can easily get sucked into over thinking anything and everything, and can be very easily slowed down by the pettiest of things.

While my stepdaughter didn't wholly understand the great value her visual demonstration of what she did, she got the idea.
Why listen to anyone over explain what I need to do, when I KNOW what I want to do?

This is why children are so supremely valuable to learn from , they are raw, real , honest and to the point. If you allow them to be. If you give them an outlet, you may learn more from them, then they will learn from you.

As I sit and painfully watch the migration of Systema in the United States go from something that could have been deeply formulated to embrace children in a more direct and positive starting point, I do understand, for most, this is a combative art. However, I do not understand why alot of instructors refuse, hate or even gasp at the thought of having a kids class or two.
Even better, why not have a parent/child class?
Now , I may be divulging some ancient secrets here, but there is NO better workout than playing with some squirrly 6 year olds. Let me repeat...playing with a group of 6 -8 year olds, will make any crossfitter bust a knee cap, pull a tendon..or worse...laugh.

As I longingly watch Andrey Karimov's You Tube Channel, I immediately seek out the ones where the men are training with children. The children are climbing, rolling, spinning, twirling, jumping , and really, really getting into it. They make their body movements look so easy, it is almost hard not to want to be a kid again. In fact, I repeatedly ask him if I can just take the kids class....
And the men in the videos? This is their warm-up. This is their psyche breaking. This is their bonding.This is their way to let go, have fun and loosen up. Before they work on themselves.

And if you think for two seconds it isn't a workout, I beg you to watch the looks on some of these men's faces at the end of the videos. It is priceless.

Even better?? Mr.Karimov has a line formation of adults and they respectfully shake the hands of their pint sized training partners. I don't know about you, but that almost makes me tear up every time I look at it.

As a society , we have completely lost touch with our children. I am guilty of it myself. I mentally check out if my son is droning on a bit too long about Minecraft, or if my stepdaughter repeats her idea for a complex saddle design that , clearly , only she can visualize. There are days when I, personally am so tired, I sit and stare at them playing and think "I should play with them" , but have no energy to do it.

Unless , they make me.Which usually involves one or both of them , sneak attacking me, scaring me, or some other ploy to get me involved.And for this, I feel extremely horrible. I should, SHOULD be going to them. Our time with them is so precious, I should be engaging them. I should.

As martial artists, we should too. These children, are our futures. They are the future leaders, teachers, doctors , lawyers, warriors that we will need to make it. We need to fully invest what time we can with them. And that, that is how Mr. Karimov teaches.
When I asked Mr. Karimov what or how  he needed to teach a class here in Texas, his number one request he had was "children".

I sat shocked, stared at the screen for a minute, thinking Google Translate failed me again. I assumed he was going to say " a padded gym , some whips, 20 participants, $9000000, a translator, a limo, green M & M's facing the same way in a bowl". But it was just "children".

If you have children, and you're reading this..I beg you to spend one or two hours a week, just trying some simple exersizes with them.My son and I began training together over the summer and it not only bonded us immensely, he was able to finally take me down after two years of trying. He said it was his proudest moment of the year. My stepdaughter , during our training, has become one of the best massage therapists ever.She delicately shoves her tiny feet into my back all while laughing and making jokes. She has become a near expert on not falling off her father during their "hang on tight" sessions, and she is 100 times more confident than I have ever seen her.
And I, I personally have seen their new found strength as a sign of what I had been missing for a while...connection.

I probably won't ever be able to eat lettuce the same again, without thinking of her analogy, but I will remember that if I am going to do something, I'm just going to do it.


If you need ideas on what to do with your children ( at any age level by the way)...
you can check out this video. And guess what? Alot, if not all of it, is a precursor into training Systema(traditional).

To visit Mr. Karimov's You Tube page, for more exciting videos, never before seen footage and detailed demonstrations check out his You Tube Page here.

Being Blindsided: How We Succumb to the Misguidance of Others

Today, I dropped my son off at school, in what I like to call "the drop off/pick up lane of doom". It is an intricate barrage of SUVs, small cars, students, angry parents, rushing parents, disrespectful people, and well...an all out nightmare. On any given morning or afternoon, you will hear honking, witness near fender-benders, and even see a few kids almost get hit by cars. The speed limit is 20 mph, but you'd think it's 200. I digress.
Today was very typical. I guided my car near the sidewalk so my son can unload his belongings and prance off into his morning limelight, while I sit and wait in my car for maybe 10 minutes to let some of the mania die down.
I carefully, always, inch my very brightly colored car into the street and turn onto whatever the nearest side street is to escape all this. This maneuver, requires a ton of skill, faith and patience, even thought it's just a simple turn.
You have to have full faith when going through this. Not in yourself, but in the person that *hopefully* will let you cut in front of them to make the turn. Usually, you are up against someone in an SUV , who is rushing to get out of there as quickly as you are. This person, must give you the "ok" to proceed, and if you do so, you have to assume they are helping you make a safe decision.
Assume.

I never assume the person who is telling me it's "ok" to go ahead and slide in front of them, is 100% trustworthy. Yet , everyday, when we drive..we , as a whole , do this.
While I was waiting my turn, a woman motioned the "ok" to proceed. I held my hand up , motioning back for her to wait. She flayed her hand at me again, with a bit of an aggressive tone. I motioned her to "wait" again.
What she didn't see, and what I was looking at, was a mom in a small car, on a side street, trying to slowly inch her way past everyone, who evidently, had a crying baby in the backseat. She kept looking back to the backseat, reaching down, looking back, reaching...trying just to get out of where we were. I had been there. Anyone knows, if you have a screaming infant in the backseat of a car, you just want to get home.
The woman, in the SUV, had become increasingly frustrated at my lack of following her command, and gunned her truck. At the same moment, the frantic mom, inched almost directly into the SUV. I was in the middle of trying to motion to the mom to stop, when this happened. Luckily no one was hurt and we all slid out of there as though it was just an everyday malfunction.
I pulled over and took a deep breath.THIS, was exactly what I just went through in my everyday life.

When we hear about things from other people, about how great they are, and we become interested..we may partake, sign up , attend..etc. If we like what's going on ,we become regulars, or attendees , students.This could apply to anything. Music, dance, yoga..martial arts...

When we follow leaders that we feel  may be a good match for us, we aren't really thinking much about it. If it feels right, we go with it. If they treat you poorly, we assume, it was something we did, and trek on.
We don't think much of their guidance into "traffic" . We put a ton of faith that these people,that act as though they know what they are doing, that's why we are all there. Nodding in unison.
We may be wrong....but no one says anything. No one questions it. Not in the open, anyway.
When you begin to get a better sense of "hmmm, that wasn't the first time I was mistreated(led into oncoming traffic), you start to really question yourself. Why am I here? What was I thinking? What have I been putting up with? And when you back away, as sad as it may be, you gain some clarity and insight. You see the bigger picture, ingest, and pick up the pieces .

When you get trapped by the misguidance and advice of several of these people at once, you feel one of a few things 1) surely, all these people can't be untrustworthy, 2)surely, they would stand by me as they said they would, 3) surely, they won't guide me into some traffic and leave me there to get hammered into. Surely, they wouldn't.
But they can, have and will. If this happens, alot of people suggest, just staying quiet, slipping away, and letting yourself become a victim , since..these , after all...are some pretty noted leaders.

In my experience, there is no right way to deal with getting led into heavy or dangerous traffic by strangers. At the end of the day, you are responsible for yourself and expecting people to remain by your side, is almost an impossible feat.
Take care of yourself, the best you can...it may be a fight, may mean you make some enemies, it may mean, you , by your own sword, determine your fate. But don't do what THEY want you to do. After all, they are the ones that took you there.

All experiences, are  learning lessons. Take what you can, from any of them. If you total your car, because someone guided you incorrectly, YOU will still be without a car. However...you may get another one,a newer one, or learn the bonus of public transportation. If you lose friends, because someone misguided you, you may realize, those people..really weren't your friends in the first place, BUT you will make new friends, and maybe even better ones...and , you will now officially know what to look for in a mentor( I hope).

This leads me back to Andrey Karimov.
Initially, I stopped training Systema with any schools, because I felt like I was not getting out of it what I needed. I wanted something a little more holistic, lively, fun..real.
I watched a few of Mr. Karimov's videos online , and noticed a few things:
1) kids- he has almost as many videos working with children(with adults) as he does of knife work, whip work, and other training
2)music-there is music(usually he plays the instrument himself) in almost every video. In fact,in our house..we walk around humming the familiar tune .
3)smiles-even some of what seems to be the most complex and face cringing moves, you will notice a few smiles and even laughter here and there.
4)camaraderie- Andrey has camps and all inclusive seminars. He does't seem isolated from his group. He is fully involved in what he teaches. FULLY.
5)passion. This man..is probably more passionate about what he teaches than I am about what kind of donuts I eat. If you knew me, you'd know what that means.

I couldn't ask for a better path to go down. I couldn't have hand picked a better person to talk to about Systema, than him. He gives me hope and encouragement ( even though I didn't think I needed it), far beyond what I could have expected. He is delightful , helpful and full of knowledge. At the very least, he is inspirational. At best, he forces you to really, really think.

Someone recently contacted me and said , " THIS man you are aligning yourself with is a bully!Just look at him, look at how he trainssss..LOOOOOK AT HIMMMMMM! I will help you , figure out what YOU want!!!"

I'm sorry, what?
A) I didn't ask
B)If he is so horrible, why has he spent so much of his free time talking to me, and showing me a part of his magically traditional life? (no instructor here, has done that.ever).
C)You TELLING me, that someone is a bully, then TELLING me I need to stop associating with him is, kinda by definition, now making you a bully.
D)Considering what I just went through with a group of male "martial artists" threatening, backstabbing and trash talking me, I'm still here, out in the open..I **think** I'll be ok.

At the end of the day...they are all life lessons. I will do as I please, step on some toes, make friends, make enemies, make choices.


But most certainly, I will NOT be misguided by anyone into oncoming traffic again.

To watch more of Andrey Karimov's work with children, check out this video:
Andrey Karimov children and adult combo class.
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To learn more about bullying and how to detect or stop it visit : Stop Bullying Now

To find out how to find a good martial arts instructor,  simple tips on choosing an instructor

The Shot Heard Around the World . Sort of.

When I started even remotely thinking about writing a blog about Systema, I immediately told myself " I will not write about the shooting. I won't."
As the few days in between deciding to write about training and Systema, it is the one thing that kept creeping back into my head.
"How can I not write about the ONE thing that single-handily changed how I felt about Systema?"

It was a week in November, and honestly, I don't even know what day or year anymore.Not that long ago.
My boyfriend (now fiancee) at the time, was at a school in Alabama. I spent my time while he was gone training and working and maintaining our household...the usual.
Our Systema class had just wrapped up on a Thursday night...and those of us who stuck around to chat with our instructor had filed into a back room. As they meandered off, I asked my former instructor if he was still going to the "event". He wasn't sure at that point, and I had only asked him because I was supposed to lend him a weapon or something of the sort...
When I asked him why he wasn't going ...he said" I don't know..I haven't heard anything from anyone."
There was something about the energy shift in the room, in our space, that creeped over me. I remember thinking to myself "oh God..don't go".
He looked over at me and said "( I will not use the names)"is being kinda weird lately...just , I dunno.It is what is is , I guess."
I immediately quipped " you don't have to go, besides, I can't figure out the whole where the weapon thing is".( I was supposed to make sure he had some firearm to use).
Either he didn't hear me, or ignored me(which wasn't unusual)..and we walked out.

That was the last time I had seen my former instructor without bullet wounds.
The following day, it was business as usual around my house..my son was with his father for the day , which meant I got to sit and relax and watch movies and read.

When my phone rang, I saw it was my boyfriend, I thought nothing of it.We were still in the romantical phase where he casually called me to say hi and we would talk about nothing and everything.
At the same time, my son was being dropped off by his father.My son, who was about to turn 11, came bouncing into the house, chatting away, telling me about his weekend. My phone was still ringing so I finally told my son to settle so I could talk on the phone.

I answered...and I don't specifically remember what happened next. I remember sitting on my bed, with the book I was reading, and my son was leaning against the doorway. His face went from having a huge smile on it, to looking completely pale and now had watered eyes. Whatever was being told to me, I was evidently repeating out loud. Later on , I was told this was described as 'third party shock'
I immediately remember yelling at my son to leave the room and he scattered. I closed the door and managed to get back on my bed. I asked whatever was said to be repeated.

"(Instructor) has been shot..they don't know if he's gonna live. I don't know if hes gonna live...(pause). I mean..I don't know what's going on..I just got a call.."

I remember specifically asking if it was on purpose. I don't know why I asked this, but in my head..if it was an accident , he would have a better chance of living. But then again, the person who shot him was a "top weapons expert/Systema badass" ....it really could have gone either way.
I don't even know what I said after I understood what was going on. I just remember my phone was on the floor and I was too. I remember praying for the first time in 20 years. I chanted every prayer in every language I could think of. Then it hit me. I had to tell our training partners. No one else, other than our instructor's closest friend and the people at the seminar, knew what happened. Once I realized his friend was on the way to be with him, I knew I had to be the one to tell everyone else.
I opened my bedroom door and my son stood there, clutching his Systema Tshirt and said" is he going to live?"
We both broke down immediately. I had cried before..alot...but not like this. I immediately began throwing up and feeling dizzy. I told my son it would be ok, but he and I both knew it wouldn't.
I looked for my phone and noticed my computer screen was up . I immediately called the first person who I could see that was online.
I didn't think about what he was doing or if he was eating with his wife. I didn't think " what if he was having a bad day" and I will never forgive myself for that. I just did what I did.
I remember trying to not cry as the words forcefully came from my mouth. I remember him yelling and almost crying and going silent. This was a man who was probably hands down, the best partner I have ever trained with. We both sat on the phone ,quiet. I heard his wife ask what was happening and my son asked the same.
I don't even remember who I called next. I remember thinking "this is not my place, I don't even know (instructor) that well"....and "oh God..I can't do this".
The course of the next few minutes were pretty vague. I was in shock combined with hysteria. No amount of Systema breathing I learned kicked in. Not once. Ever.And, only minutes had passed since I got the phone call. These minutes seemed like hours.
I decided I had to call all the hospitals in Dallas, where our instructor was being transported to. The last one I called was the one I was born in. I felt like since I was born there, then I should have easy access to how he was doing.
I was wrong.
I had been hung up on more times in 3 minutes than ever in my life. I was lucky that the first nurse told me his Starflight just landed...but that's all I got out of her.
I finally decided to call back and violate every HIPPA law known to man.I lied my way through maybe 8 nurses and operators and found one very compassionate ER/ICU nurse.
Her words will haunt me for the rest of my life.
"He doesn't look good. You may want to tell your family to get down here. There are alot of grown men crying and in shock...I don't know what happened but I've never seen anything like this.Have you checked to see when the next flight from Austin to Dallas is?"
As I hung up with her, I realized I had not checked to see if any of the men that were at the seminar were OK. I called back and asked to get patched to the ER waiting room.
A very soft spoken Hispanic man answered the phone. I immediately began asking him if there were any men in the room . He had no idea what I was talking about. I realized he only spoke Spanish, so I immediately shifted gears. I asked him if there were any grown men in the room , maybe covered in blood, or that looked in shock. He said he had just seen some men walk away and set the phone down to go after them. He came back and said they walked too far away from where he could catch up. He asked me what happened.
I told him what I could translate in Spanish and, before I knew it he was consoling me. He told me to wait a second and got back on the phone and asked me if it was OK if he prayed for my former instructor while we were on the phone.
He started praying the rosary and said he would give me a condensed version so I can figure out what to do next, but would continue praying and looking for the group of men. This was now the second time in 20 years I had prayed.When we hung up , I realized I had no idea who this man was..but he was the first person that helped me breathe again.
The next few hours turned into a cacophony of phone calls, messages, check ins, and figuring things out. I called in sick to work just so I could stand by and hope that there was good news. I started a new job and had a previous track record for not ever calling in sick.
I called and messaged every "higher up" in the C.O.C.. I could think of. Repeatedly. I even called and messaged the shooter. Alot.
I got little or no response from the C.O.C. I take that back..I got a blanket email from the main group. I got a message from another tier level instructor that said "thanks, we've got it from here"or something of the sort.
I don't know what I was going to say to these men, but I was going to say something. It was day two of the incident and not one word on social media, or anywhere about it.Not one.
By day three I had enough. I knew that my classmates were at the hospital working in shifts, I knew that this man, my instructor,  had two amazing children that may or may not have a father return home. I knew that if he returned home, I, personally, did not want him to worry about anything. I told myself if I planned his return home to be serene, then that meant , I put it into the universe that he WAS returning home.
I began calling my friends who own restaurants to ask if I could borrow their kitchen overnight , because I was going to do a one woman bake sale to raise money. None of them were shocked, but wanted to know why. I told them. They asked why I needed to fundraise. I said "because maybe he can get med-transport home, that's why". Finally, one friend suggested I try an online Fundraising site.
I picked the first one I saw.My lack of sleep and determination wanted to waste no time. It occurred to me that maybe, my extremely private, antisocial, quiet instructor would not want this. I texted the person closest to him. They said they would ask him . I waited about 2 minutes before I texted back.
I got no response ( after all , this person was dealing with reality of being with him).
Finally a day later I got the go ahead. I had already written the fundraiser, set up the account and made sure I understood the terminology.
I hit the publish button and waited. I messaged everyone I could think of...and I fell asleep.
The next day I woke up to a bevy of emails...mostly threats.
Alot of "take that down NOW", alot of "what the hell happened?!"
Alot of "did you check with the Chain of Command?" I ignored and deleted the threats, abuse, attacks and bullying . I personally emailed and messaged anyone who wanted to know more right away. In a matter of hours , I had raised some money, but I raised more eyebrows than dollars.
I will never understand the threats, nor do I care. I will never understand the "C.O.C" comments. And I will most certainly, not understand why it was not being openly talked about. This man, our instructor , who was loved by many...needed us. ALL of us. Instead..it felt like only a few of us cared.
How could this have possibly happened? How could NO ONE be talking about it other than shootem' up gunsites, and anti Systema people? What the hell was going on?
I didn't get it either. I was beyond enraged.
I managed to get on a plane to drive back with my boyfriend from Alabama straight to Dallas where we would see our instructor. On the plane, I sat next to a young man who was in the Army. He was scared of flying to the point of being almost in tears. He asked me to talk to him to keep him from panicking. So I told him the story of the shooting. By the end of the flight, he bet me $20 bucks he could match his army style pushups to my Systema knuckle pushups. I was wearing a dress. He lost the bet gave me the $20 and said it was for the fundraiser. I don't know how I did more than 5 pushups , because I never managed to do more than 5 in class. Later on , he donated another $100 online with a note..."thank you for making me totally forget that I was on a plane, and making me realize there are still people like you out there that care about humanity."

My boyfriend and I left immediately after his awards ceremony in Alabama and made virtually no stops. We were both emotionally exhausted, drained and worried. We hadn't heard much of anything at this point..and maybe that was good. As the fundraiser grew and grew, I was still upset that no formal or public comment had been made. As I sat impatiently by, I began frantically messaging the C.O.C. of the main group to DO something. ANYTHING.
They didn't. I was devastated. I was broken. Not for myself..but for all of us.
I pushed the fundraiser as hard as I could. I was not going to stop.
As we made our way through the hospital , I became physically ill.I could not even almost imagine what I was going to see.I kept telling myself, "he's alive..it's ok now"...but I was still scared.
No amount of Systema control could have prepared me for what I saw when I walked into his room.
As soon as I saw him, I broke down into tears. He weighed what looked to be 20-30 pounds less than he normally did. Only a few days had passed since the shooting and in my mind, I was not sure how this was even possible. He was shivering. He was pale, but he smiled and told me it would be ok and that he was ok. I managed to hug him and felt every bone in his back. He could barely lift his arms up because he had tubes and cords and plugs everywhere. Yet he was there, alive. As we surrounded him , he feigned from being exhausted to wanting to have some impromptu bedside training. We stood in the hallway and tried to navigate maneuvers with his colostomy bag, his IV, and his catheter. There are even photos. He still managed to almost land me on the ground. Almost.
His two beautiful children arrived a short time later and I can only describe my own feeling at the time.
Anger.
The person who had done this, had not, as far as I knew, called to check on him regularly and he even continued to pontificate at his seminars. Not one word of truth came from this Gospel leader. Not to any of us anyway. And here was our instructor, with his beautiful children, barely able to hug them. There were his children, not wholly recognizing their father, and there we were.
I was in tears and walked away.I sat in a corner of the hospital staring at the elevator door opening and closing. My rage went from intense, to soft, to fury. It never stopped being rage. At some point , I tried to be compassionate, but I could not.I was angry.
We left the hospital, and our instructor, and went to eat. It was probably the first time I had eaten in a few days. I was increasingly angry.
When he finally came home ,we had filled his house with catheter and colostomy bag friendly pants, new linens and colostomy friendly foods. I tidied up his house and cleaned as much as I could. I moved furniture out of the way, and went shopping with a classmate to make sure we could fill his home with what he needed.
None of us got a phone call from the people that should have called. Not one, that I know of anyway.
The course of the days after his arrival home consisted of home health schedules(I think all of us did our rounds), check ins, and bag cleaning. Most of us learned the ins and outs of colostomy changing, how to keep his catheter clean and how to help keep him comfortable. The men who I had been training with for a while, now became the most maternal and nurturing of men. THIS was Systema.
At one point, the threats and emails that I continued to receive stuck with me. I walked into my instructors house one evening to hang out with him..and I became enraged. Again.
I looked at his two kids and told them to go for a walk with me. They did. Quite possibly one of the best walks ever.
I asked them how they were doing and they were seemingly unaffected. They were alot braver and stronger and more compassionate than the rest of us. One of them said it was kind of weird. I looked at both of them and said " but how many kids can say their Dad was shot by (fill in the blank) and lived? That...is badass!" They both laughed at the fact that I used foul language and laughed at the reality of me confirming their father's super hero status.
It was then I realized the ONLY way I could get through this was with humor.
I walked back into the house and immediately started making completely inappropriate and random jokes.I was kinda known for the same thing in class and realized I had nothing to lose. The first one was about the "P" bag.
Once my former instructor got the reference..he laughed and was in pain simultaneously. His colostomy bag released air.We all started laughing. The ceremonial joke telling began, you could not be around us and not have a joke. In fact, there was even a contest and I think someone made a shirt.
It was all we could do.
To this day, I cannot train. Not in the gym I used to train in. It is too painful. I can barely look my former instructor in his face. I felt overwhelmed with guilt and anger. While he has taken a much higher road than I ever could, I am so incredibly at a loss , still, as to the lack of humanity and brotherhood after the shooting.
I think about it almost every day. Still. There are moments when I'm driving alone, in my car, and I try to remember what he looked like before the incident. There are moments of witnessing his miraculous recovery, that are just phenomenal. There are moments that I believed in this specific System and the men behind it , would do everything they possibly could to make sure he was taken care of. I will never forgive myself for not doing more and I will never forget the ones who did nothing .
The guy who accidentally shot my instructor? I have never heard from him. Not personally. He is continuing to have a successful, almost stupendous career at doing what he does best.
Shooting.
Thank God he missed.
This time.

(this article is strictly based on what my experience was. It is in no way , the views and thoughts of others...maybe. The thoughts,views and opinions are my own.Not anyone else's )
***update 9/22/14
Due to the numerous threats and backlash , I removed the article from the internets. While this article was written solely from my P.O.V., I could not believe the amount of positive messages I received,I was amazed that alot of people benefited from the story. I have since edited and reworded some of the terminology in the hopes that the article can still remain a positive piece in the eyes of whomever reads it. I decided to repost it despite what has happened , because I also want my "attackers" to know, I will not be bullied nor strong armed. If this article isn't for you, it isn't for you.

Giving you what you need.: The Battery Effect: How The Company You Keep Can D...

Giving you what you need.: The Battery Effect: How The Company You Keep Can D...: One of the most amazingly surreal things that I must point out immediately is that not ONE of any of the people (mostly men) who Mr. Karimo...

The Battery Effect: How The Company You Keep Can Drain You

One of the most amazingly surreal things that I must point out immediately is that not ONE of any of the people (mostly men) who Mr. Karimov has connected me with, have been disrespectful or rude. Not one.
Considering the language barrier, the lack of knowing who I am, and the cultural differences, all, yes, ALL of the men who train, work with, or know him have all been the most delightful or helpful people ever.All of them.
Mr. Karimov himself has taken so much time from his schedule to answer any of my questions, has shown me archived footage, shared photos and even gone as far as to Skype with me! How cool is that? Very.
Considering , for the most part, I can't even get a response from one of the biggest Russian Martial Arts factories here..without jumping through a zillion hoops. Coincidentally, this is the same factory that I have dumped a ton of money into. Good luck trying to get on their forum , email list or getting a question answered.
This goes back to what I like to officially now call , " The Battery Syndrome". I am not sure of the direct origin of this phrase, but my fiancee told me about it a few years ago. Basically, if you are a fully charged battery, and you are around nothing but negatively charged batteries, then you too, will become a negative battery. If you are around positively charged batteries, you will remain positive. Perhaps even if you are a negatively charged battery and surround yourself with positive ones, then you will up your game. If you take the battery part of the equation and replace it with "humans", then there ya' have it.
Brings me back to what I have recently been through on this journey. Not that long ago, a school here in the U.S. posted a very sexually explicit, demeaning and disturbing "ice bucket challenge" video.
I.LOST.IT.
How on earth is this going to HELP women in Systema in the U.S.? If you read the comments after the video(now deleted), you would damn near think that this behavior, was completely OK by U.S. standards. And you know what....? It was.
As I sat in shock and watched the video , over and over, with the school's logo, insignia and owner partaking in the background, I noticed one MAJOR issue. Not one instructor associated with the international program said anything...not publicly anyway.
The fact that this was even an "ok idea" was completely absurd. I had just mentioned to several of my female friends who had been interested in Systema , that it was a completely balanced art, and that they would surely be welcome at any school. I was mortified. And to think some of the more sought after international instructors had daughters...just....ick. How would they feel that one of their largest earning schools/networks considered this an "ok" practice? What about respect , as a whole, for who you are representing as a school?
As I launched into an online melee of sorts over the whole deal, I had to ask....
How does this happen?
Batteries.
Some of these men, clearly do not take into consideration there are women who are eager , and willing to jump into a class and spend hundreds of dollars a year on a program that doesn't really have anything for them. We do it because we *think* it will help our self defense strategies. And , if you have the right instructor, it will. I was VERY fortunate to have an amazing instructor. Who , most certainly treated me the way he treated anyone else. He didn't care if I had female anatomy. He only cared if I was understanding the information. He only cared if I got it. He only cared if I showed up to class and participated. I was lucky.
How does this pertain to Mr. Karimov?
As I stated before, not one individual who I have met through him , has been even almost rude. Not one. My training here in the U.S., it is easier for me to count the 5 or so men who HAVEN'T been complete moral apes. Maybe Mr. Karimov has absolute standards in the company he keeps. Maybe, just maybe, he has expectations of his instructors, collegues and students. Maybe , this is Systema at it's finest. Maybe, this is how it realllllly should be.

The main prompt of writing this today also came on the heels of an online conversation I had with another martial artist. Midway through our chat, he said the following:

Man:" oh..oh you're a woman???!! I AM SO SORRY! I thought I was talking to a man! "
Me:"It's ok, I get that alot, I mean.. in person, with my hair up..although I think my profile picture doesn't really look masculine"
Man: "It wasn't really your picture, it was the manner in which you were candidly asking questions and debating my statements so profoundly"

This is an actual copy and paste with names deleted to protect privacy. This, really did happen.
The Systema Factory (I think I'm gonna just call it that for short) here in the U.S. has become a big one full of self absorbed, ego filled people who want to be on top. As I have reached out to "other" strains of Systema, I noticed something....the men..of the other versions, not so ape like. They kinda just want you to learn some basic information. Ok so maybe they don't have the best personalities or maybe it's BECAUSE I am female and not many women ask them technical questions, but you can kinda see , they are just eager, passionate people. In fact, I am going to go as far as to say, they have been far more valuable as a training resource than I could have possibly imagined. Including Mr. Karimov, to date, I have more than enough "other strains of Systema friends" than I could have possibly dreamed of. This makes me even question my own battery strength. While I have nothing really informative to share, the one thing these men have said to me was "thank you".
WHAT? Thank "me"?
I don't understand it either, but as a close friend of mine put it, "maybe you let them know there is something they are missing by being female and just talking to them about this stuff"
I hope so.
I really do hope standards of practice change here in the U.S. and I really hope instructors hold their students and themselves to a higher level or moral code than what has been put out there. As I continue conversations with Mr. Karimov and his instructors, I think that is the one thing we may have missed the boat on here. I am always amazed at how his instructors are amazed by my stories of anti-female sentiment, lack of incorporating women, and complete loss of the psychological instruction needed to become a decent practitioner.
Now, I am far from living a complete moral code of emotionally and psychologically healthy infused Systema, but am working my way there. It is alot harder than doing knuckle pushups, situps, squats, and rolls.
Also, there are some great, wonderful U.S. instructors out there. Amazing men, who have nothing but kindness emoting from their hearts. You will know them when you see or meet them.

The man with the huge smile, that's Andrey Karimov. 

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Move, Breathe, Relaxxxxxx !!!!

The words "move , breathe, relax" are commonly chanted in Systema (at least in the United States). In fact, I don't think I have ever been to a seminar or class where I have not heard it.
Recently, I was at a seminar where the visiting instructor said "remember..move, breathe, relax". I was half paying attention, because I was coloring with my stepdaughter off to the side, but I immediately looked up and smiled. Before the class started, several of the men had been warming up by doing rolls, or "drills"(as they are formally called here). I, personally, was chatting away with my stepdaughter with no intentions of participating in the seminar because I was overcome with allergies.

I think the instructor may have said something along the lines of "guys, the best way to relax is to....RELAX!!!". Bingo. There it was. He said it and almost everyone looked at him like he had 8 heads. I smiled again.

Since I had been sort of online training with Andrey Karimov, one of the main topics of discussion has been psychological training. Yes..you read that right. PSYCHOLOGICAL training. Here in the U.S., one of the focal points of Systema are squats, sit ups, pushups and rolls. Very few times have I been to any type of Systema demo or class where this was not how class started out. In fact, at one major international seminar I went to, I think I attempted a combination of at least 200 of these.
When I asked the instructor the reason behind the "grunt" work he simply said "to break the psyche".

Um....what?
Immediately my internal monologue that switches to vocal retort had to turn on to mute.
It took everything I had to not say the following..
" I am a single mother, with two, maybe three jobs at times. I am a cancer survivor, a PTSD survivor, and have multiple medical conditions. The fact that I am 35 years old and still able to walk, is a miracle. Pretty sure my psyche has been broken."
Luckily for me, I never said it outloud. I understood , for the most part, WHY this was done, but I felt surely there had to be a better way. A softer way.

As the next few days of the international seminar unfolded during the "psyche breaking drills",I lay face down on the gymnasium floor, daydreaming about donuts and coffee, and how many souvenirs I can cram into my luggage before I head home. I briefly glanced up at the instructor who was standing immediately to my right. He had a huge smile on his face...I said in a quiet voice " I'm breaking my psyche..shhhhhhh". By the third day of the seminar, I pretty much checked out of the "psyche breaking" part all together. I became highly focused on how everyone else was going all out to  achieve their maximum effort of each exercise. It didn't help that I had recently had a conversation with a fellow Systema practitioner who said " I don't really go to seminars...you pay $300 + to do a bunch of stuff your home instructor probably already taught you".

When I first started conversations with Mr. Karimov, I secretly began planning my trip to Russia. I was  am all but convinced that he has something that I, maybe we desperately need here in the U.S. I had way too many questions to ask him on Facebook ( still do). I asked him at one point " what do I need to do to prepare myself if I go to Russia to train with you?"
His answer , "nothing".

Um, what? NOTHING???!! As in "not one thing"? No pushups, squats, rolls? Nothing physical? Lose 20 pounds, start lifting weights? Nothing?

I quickly realized what he was getting at. Why not just learn? Why not just go and be organic? There's so much to learn, how do you know what to prepare someone about if you don't know the psyche of that person? In my head, I thought "awesome, I don't have to start doing a million rolls" but my heart was pounding . My previous U.S. Systema mentality kept rearing up it's ugly head. How can I not prepare..what does he really mean?
He means what I have said to myself everytime someone says "oooooh you should watch (fill in the blank) Systema video of (fill in the blank) instructor. It's REALLLLLLY good."
I don't watch Systema videos. Or..didn't , until I watched Mr. Karimov's. I immediately became a fan. I have now watched so many that I can't even remember which ones I've watched and which ones I haven't. I never watched Systema videos because I really, reallllly am a fan of learning without preconceived notions of what is supposed to happen and what I should be learning. And, in fact, if you watch enough Systema videos(or enough of the wrong ones) you may end up not even going to a class.

Mr.Karimov's videos are full of music playing in the background, usually by him. He plays an instrument called the "balalaika". It's is a pitchy, guitar/banjo instrument, that has a bit of intricate artwork on it.

Andrey Karimov and Balalaika

This, THIS is how he breaks the psyche. Music. He plays at an alarmingly fast paced, loud rate. He very methodically watches his students as he's doing this. The tempo changes ( I have yet to figure out if he is changing it to the pace of his students or if he is changing it to CHANGE the pace of his students or if there is even a reason). Whatever the reason, it works. If you watch the videos (muted) you may flinch a few times at some of the "work" that is being done. If you unmute it, you just notice, movement. You may also notice a few smiles. For me, this idea works.
Why is this not done here? If you are a serious practitioner, I challenge you to ask yourselves that. Is there a reason we "pump" up to partake in a martial art, that explicitly asks that you remain "relaxed"? Is there a reason we need to be reminded constantly to " move, breathe, relax"?
 Some may say " the drills at the beginning of class are to break the psyche, that is it". Here's a little note on that...
Not once, since I've been "learning" from Mr. Karimov, has he ever described ANY of the work he does as "drills". Not once. Why? Maybe because for him and the amazing people that train with him, THIS IS THEIR WAY OF LIFE. They actually incorporate Systema as a lifestyle . Not a weekly class that you show up to.A "drill" implies that it is something only to be implemented when needed or for training purposes. A "drill" makes it seem like an exercise you must learn to be successful. If it is just something you do, then it is just something you do.
And to make things even more interesting, I am not even sure Mr. Karimov has a training/class schedule. He has a zillion and one seminars, that include full immersion in all aspects of what he teaches...including psychological work. That's right...PSYCHOLOGICAL.
One simply cannot learn how to run, without learning how to crawl then walk..we all KNOW this, but why , why are we not being taught this? Why is Systema here in the US taught without any type of psychological emphasis of remaining human? We are told "remain human" but , do most practitioners know what that means? Why are we not sat down with pen and paper, to discuss why this part of Systema is so very crucial to making you the best practitioner you can be?
Is it marketing? Is it watered down version? Is there something more? What are we really not learning?
Relaxing, to become a better martial artist, sounds weird at first, but really, it is highly effective. When I did finally jump into training at the seminar with "RELAXXXX" instructor, I found myself completely floating when we did our "drills" together. He had me up and on the ground in the matter of seconds. We playfully trained and he was so incredibly smooth that I felt, personally, THIS is what I want. THIS.
In fact, when I asked Mr. Karimov what he would like to do while he is here in the U.S.( I plan on selling a kidney to get him here) he just wrote "PLAY".

Yup.Me too...me too.

To watch more of Mr. Karimov's videos on You Tube :

http://www.youtube.com/user/nrooLad/videos

Happy Mexican Independence Day??Traditions lost, cultures revived.

Speaking of tradition, a very important holiday is coming upon us. Diez y Seis de Septiembre is also known as "Mexican Independence Day". Like most Mexican Americans, I grew up thinking that's what Cinco de Mayo was...I was so wrong.
It wasn't until college that I learned that the "Diez y Seis" was actually the day Father Miguel Hildalgo called for the end of Spanish Rule in Mexico. It's also one of the most celebrated Mexican holidays here in Texas. (we don't have that many).In fact, most children don't understand why this holiday is important.
Self included.
I was largely left out of any type of cultural experience growing up. Aside from going to Catholic Mass and eating cabrito, lengua and barbacoa, there as not much cultural activity for me. My mom even taught Ballet Folklorico, to everyone else but me. It didn't stop me from watching her classes.
I remember thinking" why won't she teach me this?" over and over , and even hearing my friends say "your mom's dance class is so fun!".
I will never know why she didn't pass down this tradition, and perhaps, that is why someone like Andrey Karimov is so important for me to understand. Not only is he teaching HIS children about tradition and culture, he will teach anyone who wants to learn! How awesome is that?
It never fails, the minute I wake up , I open Facebook to a bevy of archived videos, links, songs and photos. It's literally Cultural Christmas every single day. I have spent hours weeks, pouring over these videos and pictures. Each one, leads me to another library of a zillion more that I HAVE to look at. I literally have not eaten breakfast or lunch ...just to absorb this tiny piece of magic.
This is the question that I ask, what do you know about your cultural history? Does your family have a generational celebration that you meticulously pass down? How far have you gone to seek out your cultural background? If you live in America, probably not very far.
We have become a culturally complacent society that only vaguely celebrates a few cultural festivities. If you have a child in public school, you get the worksheet of the cultural branding, sent home so you KNOW that someone is talking about it.That's about it.
One of the greatest moments I had messaging Mr.Karimov was when he sent me a video of a group of grandmotherly like women singing, chanting and stomping away. As I watched the video , I melted into a pile of tears and laughter. These women had it down, and he had the wherewithal to film this ! Who does that anymore? Who did that 20 years ago? He does and did. Sitting above my desk , I have the ONLY picture of myself and my grandfather who I loved dearly. He was the ONLY positive male role model in my life and had a knack for making me laugh. I never thought for one second to preserve any amount of any type of cultural speck he had to offer. Not once.
It is one of my only regrets I have in my life. Maybe he had nothing to share, maybe he had a ton to share. Maybe..just maybe he would have shown me a little dance.

Incidentally, when Mr. Karimov shared the above video with me, I immediately thought.."wow, he looks like my grandfather."

I stopped trying to count how many videos Mr.Karimov has on You Tube. It is endless. They range from Systema Training videos, to Siberian Cossack videos, to music, to dance , to historical and vintage.

I encourage you to take a moment and check out his You Tube page. You won't be disappointed.
http://www.youtube.com/user/nrooLad/videos