Girl In A Fight: Exploring Fight Culture One Experience At A Time

When I originally started this blog, it was really to discuss what my experiences were in Systema , as a female, in the United States.
Things moved along in several directions, but I never forgot the one topic that really drove me here. I'd like to say my fight training began a few years ago when I stepped on a mat at my first Systema class, but that isn't the case.
Ever since I could remember, I loved to fight. And even when I didn't love it, I HAD to fight. And being female meant, that was not "ok".
From my earliest memories of my grandfather watching boxing on Spanish TV, I remember him sort of sparring with me off and on during commercials.I also remember feeling really, really guilty about sneaking around watching snippets of boxing.
That migrated to being slightly obsessed with military arts. I am not even sure how I knew about the military other than my brother had GI Joe "action figures" or that my Dad was in the Army, I just knew... I like guns,mud, and being loud. The biggest issue was that I am half Hispanic. Any Hispanic female will know that means... dresses, bows, long hair and primping..non-stop. That was NOT me. Luckily for me, my parents were divorced and my Dad owned a ranch in east Texas. This really meant one thing...I worked. Hard.
And any kid who is around horses knows that having horses means you work. Our chores were not divided by gender....I didn't stand around chasing butterflies. I picked up hay bales, rode bareback, got knocked around, bit and kicked by horses. Also, my Dad, was an adrenaline junkie. He had a high speed, high powered jet boat that we got to ride in all the time , which meant water skiing, water sports and getting the shit scared out of us when the boat felt like it was about to flip backwards due to speed.

My 'rastlin costume

To top it off, my Dad, was an avid wrestling fan. In Texas, we call it 'rastlin, but still. I got to meet several famous wrestlers as a kid, including Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant and many, many more. It also meant, our house was a constant , non-stop wrestling match. My Dad, was famous for his "claw" move and his hands, were enormous. He was extremely powerful and "trained" me to fight at a pretty young age. He threw me around, kicked, tossed and line drived me endlessly.
And, for what it's worth..at the time, I mostly hated all of this.
I was a nerdy, city kid. I preferred to read encyclopedias, drawing, working out complex math problems and trying to teach myself hieroglyphics in my spare time. There was not one thing I loved about my Dad's antics, because , ..he also had a vile temper(don't worry, he is a reformed angermaniac). And to make things even worse,I had an out of control, hyperaggressive, anger filled older brother. To make matters even worse, due to my parent's multiple marriages...at any given time, I had sets of step-brothers. Which means... I was the only female sibling to all this testosterone filled fighting and pecking order dominance. yay

always had scuffed up panty hose

I never sat around crying about it(unless I was really injured..which DID happen(thrown down a flight of stairs with roller skates on and bit through my tongue)), and I never felt like I couldn't handle anything. I did what any child of the '80's did... I took it,fought back,cried a little, and then hoped I could watch cartoons on Saturday.
Growing up like this, was really the only way I knew. I knew, I hated church because I had to dress up...I knew, I hated being quiet and being talked over by all the boys around me and I knew, there was not much I could do but learn to fight back.

This leads me to my first real school fight. I was in the 5th grade at an inner city school in Dallas. Her name was Cecilia and I will never forget it. Her boyfriend, Michael, kissed me on the cheek in the hallway. Back then, 5th graders, were still playing with toys, so even the idea that anyone had a boyfriend was weird...being kissed was even weirder. My best friend , Sharon, ran up to me in the hallway and told me Cecilia wanted to fight me after school. I wasn't too concerned, because my mom taught at the school, so surely, nothing would happen.
I was dead wrong.
By the time school was out, everyone was really amped up for this fight. Not only was I one of the only white(I am hispanic and white) kids in the school, I was a nerd and my mom was a celebrated teacher there. Cecilia was a bully, one of the bigger kids, and was known for fighting. On the way to the area behind the gym I kept thinking" ok, she's a Jehovah's Witness, I'm sure she won't hit me. She doesn't even say the Pledge of Allegance".--nerd thinking.
The closer I got to the location, the louder Sharon's voice got. "Girl, you just gotta get her....go all out!".
I wasn't even sure what that meant. I started to mentally pray the rosary.

Largely what I experienced in junior high

Before I made a complete turn of the corner, I felt a horrible sting to my face. I had been hit...hard. But not harder than any of my brothers or Dad hit me. When I slightly recovered and stood straight, I made eye contact with Cecilia. The look on her face was completely savage. She came barreling at me at a high rate of speed and all I could do was plant my hand on her face and squeeze. I remember feeling her eyeballs and mouth on my hand and it felt exactly like gutting a deer. As she grabbed gobs of my hair and clothes, I clung to her face and started swinging with the other hand, completely blindly. And speaking of blind...I had yet to get my prescription glasses, so I was damn near blind.
Once the gym coach pulled ME off HER, all I could think was how great it felt. I saw her laying there, flat on her back crying. I looked down and had all my appendages, but I knew I would be headed straight to the principal's office. Luckily, it was Mr. McCallister, who really didn't care and was ready to go home for the day. All he said was" she deserved it..she's a bully." . To this day, I am fairly certain my mom never found out about the fight. Although the following year, I was at a completely different school with a totally different demographic.
Along came junior high at another inner city school , or as what I like to refer to as "where shit went down". My nerd status was still maintained but the very first day of school, I was jumped. And again on the second day. By the third day, I realized, my skin tone was what was making me get my ass whooped. I decided to latch on to a few of the hispanic kids at the school who thought it was really cool that I was "white" but fluent in Spanish. They, were in a gang.
 "Getting jumped" became less frequent but the one-on-one fights increased. The severity of the fights got worse, and if I wasn't fighting, I was fighting for one of my friends. By 8th grade I already had a reputation for being a full on brawler.

At about this same time, my already raging brother, began experimenting with drugs. I did not have a safe place to turn to. Not one ounce of solitude or peace. Other than juvi hall.The violence was so chaotic and bad in my life, that going to jail was always a better option.

By my freshman year in high school(again, another inner city school), I had seen so many shootings,stabbings and random fights, I was no longer phased by anything. I was sent to go live in east Texas with, sigh...my Dad.
The smell of horseshit and early morning wake up calls he gave me annoyed me to no end, not to mention that the total population of the high school I went to in east Texas was 300. I was considered a minority because I was half-Mexican and that increased their total minority population to 9 students. On my first day, I was in a throw down with a female football player named Rhonda who already had some missing teeth.
The one thing about the girls at this school was, they were tough. Not like, gang member-shit talking tough, but like, fast pitched softball, rodeo girl who hunts , tough. While I was still in my element of fighting, I was oddly not in many fights at this school.
Before long, we moved to Austin where, I was shocked that an entire month went by and I didn't see or was involved in one fight at school. I spent the rest of my high school career, waiting to fight ( I even started one in science class...).My home life was a different story all together. And way too shocking to go into detail here, but let's just say, I was more than used to sleeping with one eye open. It was rare that the police were not at our house on a weekend. Rare.

Along with getting through all of it, I chose a specifically, physically brutal field to work in. I decided to become a chef. My culinary apprenticeship at times, resembled that of what a Marine would go through in boot camp. I still have a scar from a narrowly missed pan that was "tossed" at me by an instructor. Not to mention, getting yelled at, degraded and sexually harassed on a regular basis...this was, what I was told" all part of the industry". I sucked it up and did my time, and made it out alive and quite successfully. I spent years breaking my back, carrying loads of items, hauling bags of produce and yielding knives with the best of them. And I never cracked, which was perhaps why I was never in need of a job in that field. I loved every minute of it. It was familiar, vile and hard.

Fast forward to today. I am no martial artist, but really wish my parents did put me in some formal training. However, what would change? I grew up , literally, fighting. I read most Army field guides, played with guns and knives and spent a regular part of my childhood with bruises and cuts all over me. While I am not great at Systema, what I did love about it was that I was able to initiate my daily skills into fight skills if need be. The one thing missing, was my gender group.
I had the great luck to train with a few great women, but as a whole, there was no promise of balance for women, at least here in the States anyway. While my local instructors were quite phenomenal and female trainee friendly, nationally, there was not a large presence of females who trained. Even when I asked a leading international instructor if he could guide me to a few female instructors, he boasted there were none. He also told me "women are not warriors"...(I've referenced this in a few other blogs).

The more I asked around, the more I realized , there wasn't much of a niche for women and when I was shown what some women were doing in Systema, it was largely not even remotely like what the men were doing. Often times, I was pointed to "women's self defense" classes, that were taught by the same instructors who taught Systema, just you know... this was for women .
I didn't understand what I like to now call "gender divided training" until recently, when I traveled to Russia to train with Andrey Karimov, who explicitly believes in co-gender training for the purpose of creating social harmony and so the men don't aggro each other out of the room. In fact, Karimov himself discusses about connecting with feminine energy and creating a balance in men, so they do not turn into hyperaggressive males with no pecking order and something to prove. These men, are often super stiff, wound really tight, and have no concept of true movement, which some martial artists say is key in learning combatives. These are the guys you see super ,duper stiff in training videos, often times have veins popping out of their necks and talk about being soft, when really, they just look like they are trying really hard to make a poop.
And....this is also what I looked like training. Not to repeat too much, but my blog about wearing a skirt for 30 days, really drove this home. I was indeed, a hyperaggressive female at one point in my life and it really affects who I am today. To make things completely ironic, I have been approached by several males who teach "women's self defense" in hopes that I would help promote them.

The issue is, is this ok?
I honestly didn't know there was a stigma to girls fighting until I went to a friend's house when I was in 7th grade. She had a younger sister and there was absolutely no holes in the walls, anywhere. She didn't toss her sister into a wall, and they didn't "roughhouse". Usually, when I visited them, I was in shock at how quiet their house was. It seemed abnormal , to me. Later on,I realized this was normal, and what I was living, was not.But, what I lived through, got me through alot of social,psychological and physical issues later on in life(including evading an attempted rape, running out of a burning building, and many other traumatic events)... I never played victim or felt really sorry for myself, and perhaps, my combat like childhood , is what saved me.

When I think of gender divided training, I can only think of one thing..."how would a woman survive an attack if she hasn't been knocked around by a dude?". Luckily for me, while training in Russia, I had instructors that understood this balance and how to teach it.Training here was a different story.
While one woman who I worked with regularly was great, a few others were way too "light" for me. Either I felt guilty not working my best with them, or I felt like I wasted time training. To find a really balanced male to train with, was pretty difficult. My most favorite training partner ever, probably doesn't know he was just that. He was soft enough to guide me, yet firm enough to work with me. He could go slow or fast,and knew what my weaknesses were on the mat. When I stopped training in the US, I realized that this kind of male, would be really hard to find . My anticipation for what kind of training I would go through in Russia, became engulfing. My first day in training I noticed one thing... all the men with whom I was working with, were exactly like this ONE guy I liked as a partner in the US.All of them.
There were several determining factors I noticed right off the bat.

• None of these men were hyperaggressive males. 
• They could dance and sing and play musical instruments.(Karimov himself could sing high notes, often mimicked an old babushka and of course, danced.)
• They all had a sense of humor and they all were as powerful as our instructor.
• Almost all had been in the military. 
• None, tried to SHOW me what I was doing wrong or tried to overcorrect me
• None made the assumption that I had no idea what I was doing.

Training is indeed different there and the idea of gender division, or "women's self defense" did not exist at all, not in our group. It was "just fight..in a skirt". And that's what we did.
In the months since my return, I've been asked to support or back several women's self defense groups and/or programs. Normally, I would consider it, but when I asked the male instructors of these programs what their backgrounds were in , they'd often list and itemize their college credentials, or police training outlines. More often than not, these men, had never even heard of the areas of Dallas I grew up in,or they had been divorced several times, had no female children and none of them had lived in the slums of anything. Ever. Technically, I would be better at teaching "women's self defense" based on my survivorship rate,alone.
While yes, degrees count for a few points, life experience counts for alot more, IMO. I survived alot of actually being a female and being attacked. I don't live in fear and I don't walk around hyperaware. I am able to sustain huge amounts of pain(ex.breast cancer biopsy , no meds...), yet I am supposed to find comfort in the idea of this gender singular class, that will partner me up with , women who may or may not be fear mongered into training or women who , may or may not have already been attacked(which means, something during the class could actually trigger them). Out of all the "women's self defense" programs I've been sent to evaluate, not one , seems even remotely close, to what I went through in junior high , at the very least. Not one. Including Systema. Even then, only recently , I had the great honor of meeting  female Systema O.G.("original gangster") , Janice Bishop. She sent me a link to a video she was in , where she is clearly being punched and she is punching someone else, full force. I had goosebumps watching her footage. In fact, I cried..perhaps out of anger or perhaps because I didn't meet her sooner, or even worse, because no one had ever mentioned her to me. In three years of training.I personally was lucky enough to get punched by an amazing instructor named Marc Breese. Anyone in Systema knows what I mean when I say"lucky enough to get punched". His punch was so smooth and powerful, that I can remember exactly how I felt immediately after the punch and to this day, have not been punched as well as he punched me.
 Not that I felt incredibly isolated in training but it would have been nice to connect to the few women that existed in the art in the United States.
 Meanwhile, in Russia....my good friend, Olga Malkova is making waves with her phenomenal sword and whip work and I am 100% sure she will kick my ass even harder when I go back to Russia next year. Because, as beautiful and soft as Olga is, the men she trains with, WANT her to be phenomenal , if not better ,than they are.

And let's be honest, Ronda Rousey, really, really helped open up combative arts to millions of females everywhere, but even still... we seem to just not be able to get it right. Not only has she been called "cocky" "mannish" and" he-man", she really lost alot of us(women and men) when she published her "Do Nothing Bitch" mantra.Sigh. I guess saying " I'm not a Do Nothing Yet Intellectually Stimulating Female Who Can Fight" doesn't have a ring to it.

At the end of the day, as an instructor in all this, ask yourself how you train your students.Do you slightly groan under your breath when a woman shows up to class? Do you try to balance the men in your class regularly so when a newcomer female comes in, she won't be scared away? Do you offer gender divided programs, and if so..why? Do you think you(if male) are emotionally, psychologically and physically qualified to train and work with women?
Like I said before, I was extremely lucky to have my first tastes of Systema with some great instructors who were fair and amazing at finding a balance. There were times, I did feel completely stuck in the program here, but I felt that was more the overall "program" rather than the instructors. But I've also trained with men who were extremely aggressive and awkward with women in the class and guess what guys? It shows. And when those same men make "women systema" videos or "women's self defense" videos, it's really, really not a good look to any woman who's got a decent grasp of what female fight culture is about.

If you have a sister, daughter, wife or mother, think.... "what do I want for them?", how would I like for them to feel in a training environment ,would I want them to be grouped with other females like them , and how does that apply to a realistic fight situation? What is the BEST I can do for the women around me in training?".

I highly suggest we all take a deep look at the "combative arts" and stop dismissing women as ho-hum weekly practitioners, and really focus on doing the work, for your school, class or program.Recently, a female Systema instructor in Virginia was promoted on a news cast for her free women's self defense class that she offered in light of recent events in her area.This was a HUGE advantage for all of the females in training in the US, yet not really discussed that much overall, in gen pop.I for one, posted it and discussed it as much as possible in the hopes of at least, creating a buzz that "hey...we can teach this stuff too!".She is exactly the kind of woman who should teach a women's self defense class, to other women. But she is also the exception to the rule, as it were , in combative arts.
On another side note, there are many, many Combative Arts forums and discussion pages, that have very little , if at all, female presence. And it certainly shows by the Neanderlithic tone of conversation, in a weird way. While some men are completely snarky and catty, others have very little or no actual survivorship rate, not enough to teach Combat Arts anyway. And most, count the times they were in a drunken bar fight. If you whittle away all the "I can teach this because of A,B and C"...and we are left with people who have only trained in so many arts that they have convinced themselves they are good, OR if we ask for real, life experience...by default, women would be better instructors across the board. We deal with every day attacks on our emotions, psyche, physical pain(hello...menstrual cramps and childbirth) , forced to perform out side of our comfort zone(have you walked in heels and a skirt near a construction site??no??try it)...but most men on these forums ONLY argue about how much better they are than the other men , or , how much MORE "paid for" training they've had. Very few can have an intellectual debate about fighting.Most of these same men, don't even have a girlfriend, wife,daughter or significant other they would dare to try to DEFEND. Imagine that?...why are they taking combative arts if the only thing they combat , is the keyboard?
I never paid for any of my combative experience growing up.It was all free. So the overall question that gets trounced over and over is  "WHY DO YOU TRAIN?". It's asked in every single forum I've been on, and very rarely, does anyone say" to protect my family". If you take an honest look at your reasons for training, and the reason are not to protect others, then why ARE you training?
And guys, for what it's worth...a GREAT male Systema partner is really someone that treats us like a brother would(a normal one)...roughs us up, teaches us how to fight, then lets us try it out without ego or getting frustrated. Remember..you want us to learn just as much as we want to learn from you.

(thank you to M. Brock for being the best male partner of all time and to Janice Bishop and Tiffany Lee for pioneering women in Systema in the U.S. and to Emlyn, for without, I would not have even begun this journey)

The Power of a Skirt: Does A Skirt Have More Power Than You May Think?

The power and beauty of a skirt. 

I write this on the eve of many realizations...one being, that I have worn a dress or skirt consecutively for over a week now, trying to implement the self given "skirt-a-day" challenge. This idea came after I returned from Russia(actually, it was in the works there) and wanted to work on a few social ideologies that I witnessed during my time there that may or may not get the attention of a few people who knew me best back home.
While I'd like to think this idea/challenge really worked, to be honest..it was a bust.Not completely, not yet, because I told myself I would do 30 days and see how I felt after. The goal was simple, wear a skirt or dress for 30 days , see if I can get a few of my friends to join in the fun(sorry girls, I totally forgot to mention it) , and see if there are any social or behavioral changes in the people around me based on the fact that I am simply wearing a skirt.
Before the fem-police get called in...I have to go back to how this whole thing started.

While in Russia, I had the honor and privilege to train with a wonderful woman named Olga Malkova.

Olga Malkova...fierce.

At first glance, Olga seemed quite ravishing and shy. She has raven colored hair and orange eyes(ok maybe not "orange" but very light brown..certainly orange in the sun). Her smile almost sings and her voice matches her. She is very polite, courteous and graceful.
Oh...and she can probably kick your ass.
After a few days of being around Olga, she encouraged me to wear a skirt to training. I nearly fell out of my KEEN hiking shoes when she suggested it. My immediate thought was "what if I trip and fall?!!!" But once I took a look around the room, I noticed almost all the women were wearing skirts. None were falling because of them and ALL of the women looked really graceful and amazing. That night, I unpacked my completely crushed and wrinkled skirt (which I was advised to bring beforehand) and laid it out with great disdain. I had no idea what was going to happen or how even..I would walk to the gym..in a skirt...(I didn't. I changed clothes at the gym..because yes..I am that stubborn).

Olga and several of the other women, were really, really amazing practitioners and martial artists. For the entire time I studied and tried to train in Systema in the US, I complained and whined about the lack of female presence in the Systema community. I only knew of a handful of women who trained in it and we all kind knew of each other and it was nice, but some of us felt very ho-hum about training. I personally , was lucky that I had some great experiences with some great instructors but overall, I always felt like I was missing something or, that I was going to get killed on the mat. Either way, there certainly wasn't a balance and I had been told many times, Systema is not for women.
SO of course, my shock in finding Andrey Karimov and his almost even number of women vs men seminars, was astounding. When I asked him if he trained women or taught them Systema, he replied "Why wouldn't I? Women are a strong social aspect of the world and are great to learn from!"...um. wha?
Not at all like any answer I heard before and also the biggest reason I went to Russia to train with him. There were just as many women at this seminar as there were men, and it certainly helped for the dancing part! But to watch these women toss men around like it was easy, was beautiful all on it's own, and in fact, I would have to say the epitome of perhaps what "soft work" should be.

I digress....
The day I walked into the gym in my skirt(or one of them), you could hear a pin drop. It was awkward to say the least and I felt probably the most embarrassed I had ever felt in my life. The only other closest example I had to this feeling was when I went to a friend's house for her birthday party and her husband did not recognize me (after knowing me for 10+ years) because I was "cleaned up". In fact, he almost didn't let me in the house! Had I known this whole time that wearing a skirt had THIS much power, perhaps I would have done it more...
and that was precisely Olga's point. Not that there were any stipulations or feminazi rules about it, but she could fight, dance, swordplay, sing and then cook, all in a skirt, all without falling and all with not even breaking a sweat. She was fully in control of her body, her movement and her grace. She, was in CONTROL.

Please don't let me fall on film, with a sword
(that was my mantra)

nailed it..sort of.

Once I started training, I quickly realized how NOT in control I was. I damn near tripped over my skirt every 5 seconds and of course, this was the same day we filmed a swordplay video.(ARE YOU KIDDING ME???!!IN A SKIRT, ON FILM, WITH A SWORD ??!! UGHGHGH)... yes..that happened. Not only did the sword get caught in my skirt every 3 seconds, my frustration level was increasing and my mental state was getting frazzled. Now, this became a challenge. I looked around the room and not one other woman had this same issue, not even the female children. Not one. I was devastated, but trucked on.That night we danced until 2 am. I am pretty sure I mooned everyone there with the number of times I stepped on my skirt and pulled it down accidentally. Grace factor=zero.

The next day, I returned in my hiking pants(which fit by now because I was losing weight from all the physical activity), only to find the men AND women , slightly disappointed that I was not wearing a skirt again. AND, they told me about it!!! I almost felt bad that I had let them down, but wondered what all the fuss was about. The men told me I looked beautiful and the women said the same. It was probably the most compliments I had ever had, in my life.
Why would I not want more?
In fact, a few of the men and women asked if my own boyfriend treated me any different wearing a skirt and I had to embarrassingly admit, he did not. They encouraged me to wear skirts more often to represent a more graceful and feminine energy and maybe , he would hold my hand, or carry my things...maybe.

Of course, this single-handedly went against everything I strived for my entire adult female life. I wouldn't say I was a "feminist" but I would say that I could carry my own things,open a door and hell, I was known to have some of the most random, male dominated hobbies around. I'm not entirely sure if that's being a female in Texas , or just because I knew I had to do what made me happy. The cost was becoming obvious: I lost my feminine balance. Big time. Not only have I noticed in the past 2 years or so, that typically, I am the one holding the door open for men in public, but also I am the one fixing things, I am the one maintaining order..I was also, extremely exhausted. My body has slowly been giving off warning signs, everything from clusterheadaches to a horrific and nightmarish miscarriage. I was exhausting myself by doing everything and working hard to keep the ship from sinking.
But I didn't realize this until I was in Russia. During one of our discussions, one of the men told me how important it was for women to rest, therefore, the men
carried and chased after the young children from the time they could walk, until the children were self-sufficient. (Yeah, mom friends..we did it wrong).....He stated that women were really the driving force in the household and their support, love and nurturing spirit were all necessary to keep men motivated through anything;long work hours, financial loss or even..war.He also stated "this is why it's called "Mother Russia", she is revered.

not even his baby, ya'll, he's just helping.

This sentiment almost had me in tears. Mr. Karimov himself had told me that women were like a nuclear power plant and you never wanted it to explode....(LOL). And by the looks of how these men treated not only their own wives, but me, well there was something certainly to be said about it all.
I was slightly catered to, by some of the men in Russia. And by "catered to" I mean really, they were just attentive. If I looked too pensive , they checked to see if I was ok. Ran out of water?...some on the way...Raining? was covered up....Cold? Offered a jacket or to huddle in close. And usually, my arm was guided on almost every expedition we went on..in unison with many other women..... the women really were cared for. All of them.

Roman Khozeev knows how to do it right!!

Now, the personal debate for me was surely that it could not be just the skirt. However, in retrospect, what man would want to walk with a woman, who is not flowing gracefully with a long skirt, next to him? Not many. And when I brought up the actuality of what it is like in the states, that not many men walk around holding the hands of their female companions in the US, the Russian men were shocked.
Not only was this commonplace for the men in our group, it was common for the men to make sure if anyone else's wife was not accompanied, that one of them would make sure she was taken care of. All the women felt really, really safe. This was something I had not felt in ...well, ever.

Again, I was not sure if this was about the skirt, or about the maturity level of the men. All I can say
is that the women were amazing fighters and practitioners.
They were on point with their skill and grace and I learned so much from each one of them. The men did not take it easy on them in training and every female held her own. It was amazing and beautiful all at the same time. The women had an empowering tone overall and one that I admired daily. In fact, I sent a text message to a friend in the states and told her about this skirt phenomenon. While I waited for her response, I realized that I wore skirts before but usually on special occasions and that, on average, wearing a skirt on any other occasion other than a night out or church Sunday, meant you were a lazy , hippy female , who perhaps had no laundry left. Her response was exactly what I had thought in my head of when I personally stopped wearing skirts..."I usually only wear skirts when I don't have to chase the baby around".

this picture got alot of feedback on many levels

Almost simultaneously , I noticed one of the men in our group, carrying his baby and his
wife was training right next to him, in a skirt. To both their credits, they each trained with baby in hand and switched duties during training , so they could get equal amounts of time participating. This was not something I had going for me when my son was this age, but I could totally see the point of not wearing a skirt one your baby is walking...UNLESS , your male counterpart is equally responsible for the baby rearing.

yes..she took him out with a baby in hand.

Again, looking around the room, and in reflection of our trip, the parts of me that were lost in my personal journey, became the parts of me that were immediately brought back to the table. Often times, women lose their sense of identity when they become mothers and wives and they become all too secondary of a thought in a household. They are easily overlooked, unappreciated and even, left behind and this is exactly what happened to me. I became only "mom" and nothing more which almost everyone at the seminar noticed.....
getting to a point of how to change this , was almost all too much for me to deal with and at times, it is what certainly broke me at the seminar. My emotional state when from being numb, to wondering what I had done in my life and relationships, to how would I be able to recover..?? Yup..all from a skirt...

So, Olga's advice was simple..."Olivia..start small, start wearing a skirt and see how you feel , on the inside, the rest will radiate from within."

She's good, because yes, I feel great but really, the only person who noticed was another friend of mine who coincidentally , ALWAYS wears skirts and dresses. But I also noticed that she has amazing physical balance(she wears heels all the time) and I have literally seen her ask for help when she needs to carry something heavy and no one rolls their eyes at her(um, if I ask for help to carry something heavy, often times it is because I am being sarcastic---hence sub-issue part 2). While her encouragement for hanging in there with the skirt challenge is amazing, I wonder still, what social impact it will make on the people around me? What if I become someone who asks for help after years of not needing any? What if I become someone who can receive a compliment without snorting a sarcastic laugh after...? What if this skirt thing works wonders in my training balance and grace (something I've struggled with my entire adult life)???

Hopefully some of my skirt antics will be available on DVD or video soon and you too, can see my blunders during training with a skirt. So far, it's only day 9 of wearing a skirt and I've tripped and fallen twice, not bad at all. I rather enjoy the whole skirt thing and if you'd like to join in the challenge let me know!!

For the Love of Children:The Importance of Emotionally Safe and Structured Training with Kids in Systema

Alot of people may be surprised at the heavy dose of children's work Andrey Karimov offers at his extensive seminars. Our 21 day seminar in St. Petersburg offered up a nice sized portion of in depth work with children. Before I go any further, Mr. Karimov is a practicing psychologist and has carefully spent several years constructing these modules for children and their emotional health. Each game and series is designed with a few key components in mind :

• identifying children's deep, emotional issues by gauging responses to activities
• helping each child work through such issues
• allowing parents to partake in witnessing their children's independence and strengths 
• formulate a strong sense of identity and free thinking 
• allowing children to try and succeed in a safe, nurturing environment without judgement

Does your kid have the wiggles? Body language is very telling.

• giving parents, specifically fathers, ideas and formulas to help improve relationships with not only their children, but the children around them

and much more.... each activity starts out quite abruptly with the balalaika(yes, I know...you don't know how to play one, don't have one, or don't understand why it's needed....) Remember the game musical chairs? The music played while we all ran around to get to the last chair but the minute it stopped, it was game on?
This, is how the balalaika is used. Now , if you try this in your school, you can certainly use whatever instrument or music of choice but the key is to be consistent. As with anything with children, consistency fosters stability.

Is you Systema kid's class helping or hurting them?

Mr. Karimov often started each session simply by monitoring the children. It was almost a given that the adults in the room were not to interfere or redirect the children in any way...(and if you know me personally, you must know how incredibly difficult this was for me). Without any cues or directions, Karimov began to play the balalaika at a moderate pace, he then would build speed and abruptly stop. The kids, once they heard the music, would run around the room(floor covered in mats) and drop to the ground and stop, when the music stopped. Usually, there would be a few seasoned kids in the group that knew of the routine and seemingly, the other kids just followed along. Again, not much , if any direction from the adults. Once the children stopped(most dropped to the floor face down), Mr. Karimov would quietly point out the children who were unable to keep still...the ones peeking, wiggling, shifting positions, or still walking around....
These were your rule breakers , for lack of a better term.Which is not necessarily a bad thing. These kids also maybe had a difficult time in general by not having a calm demeanor and often times would look back at their parents for approval to make sure they were doing the drill correctly. Again, there was alot to be said by witnessing this display of simple body language.
This all begged to ask the question, what were we teaching our children, in "Systema" in the United States? I know of maybe a few instructors who have done a great job formulating really amazing kid's classes , but that's only a handful. I've found more instructors who have completely thrown the baby out with the bathwater by having kids line up only to punch one another and claiming this was their anti-bullying program.
No one talks about the psychological effect of improper training, or how to help parents foster better relationships or even...dare I say, gets fathers involved?? Not anyone I've heard of.

And how does this pertain to you , as a martial artist? If you have a child, and you spend a ton of time away from you child, training...doing mainly "systema" things, why not utilize that time to the benefit of your parent/child relationship? Not only did some of our best warm up routines come from working with the children at our seminar, almost all of us had a ton of fun, were completely limber and loose, and all of us reached a level of training much more effectively than if we JUST DID SIT UPS.

Barring the musical mat exercise, the demonstrations that followed blew my mind(luckily, the adults got to play too!)...

The great and unmatchable Masha...you'll be hearing more about her

One demonstration in particular, knocked me off my feet, figuratively and literally. Mr. Karimov and a partner each had one end of a rope...they dragged the rope towards and lineup of children and either shifted the rope up or down forcing the children to make a snap-quick decision. Sounds easy? It's not. The goal of the game was to get children to understand that adaptability really is dependent upon them, not the people around them, and that they alone, were responsible for their decisions, so merely mimicking their cohorts may not work for them, especially since the rope was being moved at different angles. And guess what? Same game for adults and almost all of us fell. Why? Perhaps because we have what Mr. Karimov refers to as "maladaptive programming". We are conditioned to overthink, overdo, and over prepare for everything. Pre-jumping over a rope , as an adult, will most certainly land you on your face..(yes, this happened to me). Waiting until the right moment to decide whether you should leap, drop to the ground or merely slowly walk over the rope, was a key way in identifying what your natural behavioral patterns were, and for children, this is key for their parents to understand.

• Are you raising an overconfident child who is impulsive? Early rope jumper.
• Are you raising a child who struggles to decide what to do and goes with the crowd? Cautious rope jumper.
• Are you raising a child who makes the very obvious wrong choices frequently? Opposite end goal determination rope jumper.
• Are you raising a child who waits until the very last minute , but makes a successful choice? Again, cautious, yet thoughtful rope jumper.

Not as easy as it looks. Better than sit ups, squats, rolls and pushups.

You get the idea. And this was only one game, of many, many games. This game, by the way, works great for adults and the kids LOVE to watch the adults play. Not only do you get a heavy dose of plyometrics on board, you start to really work on yourself. Now that I look back at pictures of myself doing this demo, I can reflect on what it felt like participating. Not only was I wearing a skirt, I
noticed that I waited until the moment the rope touched me to move. Again, I'm not a big fan of using excessive energy ( I'm old, what can I say?), but this also is a slow process I've learned to use throughout my life. Normally, I would have panicked, already wondered how I would jump or which direction, but knowing that Karimov was liable to raise the rope in any direction almost gave me a better sense of calm in my own quick decision making and adaptability skills. I , in fact, was relearning to trust my own judgement.

Again..this was a game designed for children, but worked really well for all of us. I will be continuing writing about child-specific , and emotionally safe children's games and training from the seminar in St. Petersburg with a highlighted focus on the importance of adequate work with children. Oh, and at the end of each children's session, the kids lined up to thank the adults... mutual respect was very key in wrapping up each session.

***Photos courtesy of the great Evgeny"Eugenious" Pechkin. You'll be hearing more about him too.

Guest Blogger Jesse Carrillo interviews Yuri Sheshukov of Siberian Cossack Systema

Yuri Sheshukov

Yuri Sheshukov is an instructor from the Siberian Cossack Systema school of Russian Martial Art. I recently met him and trained under him in St. Petersburg during a 21 day seminar. Sheshukov gave instruction on knife fighting, pole/stick fighting, the Cossack Shaska, the Nagaika (Cossack whip), lower acrobatics, rolls, armed/unarmed takedowns for Military or Police, and for lack of better wording on my part, “drown-proofing” or working with fears in a water environment. In spite of the long hours and constant training, during three separate meetings, we were able to sit down and converse through a translator. The following are my notes that I took during these talks and I present them here to shed light on a very gifted instructor. Any shortcomings in the following interview are entirely mine. -Jesse Carrillo

JC: Where did you grow up?

YS: I lived in Kazakhstan until the age of 5 in a village near the city of Ust-Kamenogorsk. My parents then moved to Yakutia in the Sakha region. In Sakha, I attended school and had sport interests in power lifting, Sambo, cycling, camping and cross-country running.

JC: Tell me about your Cossack heritage.

YS: Growing up I knew that my grandfathers, great-grandfathers, and their fathers were involved in many Russian military conflicts in our history. The villages and areas where I was born were at important crossroads throughout history and were known as “Siberian” regions. All of the villages were historically Cossack villages that defended Russia from different threats. The central parts of Kazakhstan is steppe country and historically these areas were conflict zones with enemy tribes that were called “jungars”, examples of these marauders were peoples like the Afghans and Chinese. When Russia was expanding its territory in the 19th century, Forts were built and garrison towns and settlers would be brought in. Alma-ata (“father of apples”), the capital of Kazakhastan was a fortress town formerly known as Verniy (“Loyal” or “Faithful”).

At this time my ancestry can be traced to Cossack areas and even to Russian immigrants in Poland. During these periods of Russian expansion, the Russian government needed skilled and loyal Russians to move to these areas of recent expansion like Kazakhstan, and thus my ancestors came to be in Ust-kamenogorsk.

JC: What years did you serve in the Military and what branch?

YS: After high school I entered a Military Academy in 1991 where I graduated with a degree in Civil Engineering in 1995. I was commissioned as a Lieutenant and began to serve in the VDV or Airborne branch. As an Airborne officer I was assigned to a reconnaissance unit. As my career progressed I served on a Brigade staff after company command. Our forces were trained and prepared for Airborne warfare similar to the Airmobile concept in the U.S.A. For example, taking over enemy Nuclear bases. Russia has large borders and this is primarily why there are many Airborne units. Our specialties were airborne drops in the rear areas of the enemy so as to surprise them.

JC: When did you begin to train in Systema?

YS: I began training Systema while in the Military Academy. I initially was interested in other types of martial arts like Filipino knife styles. As a Military officer one is responsible for the readiness of their men, and I then moved on to arts that I believed would assist Airborne soldiers in completing their mission. In the Army, I met an officer who would instruct me in the Kadochnikov system and ROSS which I then would pass on to the troops. When my Army service finished in 2000, I decided to not re-enlist and to begin a civilian life. During this time, a friend told me that I had good martial arts skills and that I should become an instructor and begin training groups. I then began training groups with what I had learned in the Army. I became a serious student of the martial arts and began to explore different types of martial arts and the cultures from which they came from so as to gain better understanding. I conducted training on my own for seven years until 2009 when I met Andrey Karimov. I then began collaborating with him.

JC: When did you begin working with the Shasqua (Cossack saber)?

YS: In Novossibirsk there is a Children's sports school for saber and fencing that is well known in Russia. Since the 8th grade I had been fencing and I began working with the Shasqua in 2009. I can say that between the ages of 15-17 my focus was on sports weight lifting, then between the ages of 17-21 my focus was on modern military weapons (Military Academy). Since that time and prior to 2009 my focus was on knives and stick fighting along with the unarmed combatives.

JC: Are there different schools of thought concerning the use of the Shasqua?

YS: Technically there is only one style but there are many small variations when it comes to speed and techniques. The Shasqua saber has been around in Russia since the 12thcentury. Approximately 300 years ago the idea of the saber made its way to Europe and its use there has been heavily documented. This documentation did not occur in Russia because the Shasqua and its use was deeply rooted for so long that the need to document was not an issue.

JC: What qualities other than learning the particular Shasqua “swordplay” does working with the Shasqua instill?

YS: The Shasqua shapes one as a “tool”, and this “tool” is correct. No matter what you are doing, you will be capable of completing those tasks. The Shasqua instills discipline in that working with sharp weapons, you must be aware of the consequences. The Shasqua teaches one about “brakes” and when to implement them. The ability to focus is also reinforced.

JC: Who are the trainers that influenced you?

YS: A.A. Kadichnokov for one. Also, my trainer in the military was of the R.O.S.S. system. In the military there is down time and along with actual training, I would also spend it watching videos of these combatives so as to enable me to be proficient. The task of an officer is to teach his soldiers. I analyzed the training videos and would take the lessons apart so as to enable me to pass them on to my soldiers. I read A.A. Kadochnikov's books and I dug really deep into the subject so as to be able to teach VDV Airborne soldiers.

JC: Along with what I have seen during this Russian martial art seminar what other type of training do you offer?

YS: I work Systema concepts with children, specifically in 3 categories within the age groups of 4-17 years old.They are very young children's groups, children's groups and teenage groups. I train bodyguards, both new comers to the field (a three week course) and refresher training for active persons in the field.

Sheshukov works with children of all ages.

(JC to the reader, I took the liberty of adding some of YS's other types of work so as not to leave anything out. This was taken from a vita he provided: 

- Workshops for parents on child education in the framework of Russian culture

 - Participation in military-patriotic gatherings "Siberian outpost” (Man camps) 

 - Production of training films and other materials

 - Performing as Cossack ensemble "Siberian Cossack” that includes Cossack dancing, singing and playing instruments like the Balalaika.)

JC: Where do you see yourself as an instructor in the next five years?

YS: I am interested in traveling. I am completing work on a training book and I would like to put out more training DVDs but some concepts and principles need to be shown/instructed first hand. I plan on getting my current DVDs translated to Italian and English to get the information out. Books I am working on include an instructor development guide, Knife combatives and unarmed combat. I am looking into self publishing or possibly going through a publishing house.

JC: How can persons interested in your training contact you?

YS: I can be contacted directly at yurisheshukov@mail.ru or through Andrey Karimov's U.S. representative, Olivia Overturf at milosmami@yahoo.com or on the Cowboys and Cossacks FB page. My FB page is:https://www.facebook.com/yurisheshukov?fref=ts

JC: Is there anything you would like to share before we go back to training?

YS: Yes, of course. Everything we call Systema is high, deep and wide. It will expand and grow wider and deeper because it contains basic cultural elements. Martial arts teach children proper upbringing to become human beings and this is achieved mentally, culturally and philosophically. This is why it is easier to reach skills and evolve to your full potential within Systema because it is a multi-faceted system which evolves the personality. In our ancient, Russian Cossack traditions of song, games, music and dancing, the men participating was common. Nowadays, a person can enter Systema from any “side” – the military side, through singing, the dancing aspect or through playing with children. The person who participates in the System will find new knowledge to replace their fears.

(Yuri also plays the balalaika! Along with dancing, singing, and being a great historian, he is truly a gifted instructor and will have more to come soon. **Olivia**)

Back to Basics:Getting out of line......

It's no secret that Andrey Karimov's style is quite specific. One of the overall themes of Cossack fight style is to move the hell out of the line of attack and only counterattack if necessary. All with as little energy expelled as possible. My own personal theory is perhaps this methodology was adopted to conserve energy in the long haul for other serious warfare trials and tribulations fought by the Cossacks. Whatever the case may be, I LOVED the "less is more" technique. In all practicality, a fight should last no more than a minute. Anything after that, and you may be screwed, royally. So the best thing to do is avoid a situation(if possible), react calmly, and get out of the line of attack. Seems pretty basic, right?
Yeah, no. (Da, nyet..if you're Russian).
One of the VERY first things Mr. Karimov reviewed with us, as a whole, was how to step out of the line of attack. It seemed like it should be easy and really, just watching him, you'd think it was. After about 2 hours of just trying to work this method, I quickly realized that my internal training bad habit brain was misfiring. How could I NOT pick this up? Luckily for myself(and anyone else who was stuck),the gym floor was visibly lined. And even better,Andrey Karimov and Yuri Sheshukov teamed up and combined this with dancing to get us to really grasp what was going on (keep in mind, this was very event-specific for this seminar and not the usual 3 day type workup you would receive otherwise).
Finding the "line" of attack was pretty simple... attacker comes at you...this is your line.
Evading this space became very tricky for whatever reason. My brain scrambled relentlessly in hopes to just be able to move out of the way. Once I got the "move out of the way" part down , I had to learn how to move out of the way to one side or another, completely.
Again, sounds simple. 'Twas not.
One of the main things Karimov teaches is that (your) "legs save". Meaning, move your legs, your body comes with. Move your hips, and your overall structure will solidify with a more solid bearing. Again..I have hips, I move them, alot... but why can I not move them in training?

This is where the dance came in. After what seemed like hours of the class as a whole stepping on ourselves, making complicated and multiple steps for a simple side move, Karimov and Sheshukov resorted to what is similar to line dancing(but in a circle).With the balalaika playing at a moderate speed, we meandered at a slow place from shifting our bodies from one lateral point to another, all with minimal energy and steps. Think "step-ball-change to the right, step-ball-change to the left" all while making sure there was ample clearance and, at least try to end in a parallel fashion near your attacker(this was also incredibly tricky).
At most, this movement should be 4 steps, depending on how close you are in the line of attack. Anything more than that and you will find yourself not only tripping over your own feet, but perhaps landing even closer to a weapon, multiple attackers or even worse...implanting yourself on the ground due to lack of stability.

Get out of the way!

Once the rapid pace of the music picked up, our rhythm in this drill picked up...we moved in a circular motion around the room evading our imaginary line of attack for at least an hour or more without stopping. We even added arm movement(Cossack style for men, the women had handkerchiefs in place to remind us to block our life zones). The women used the frontal triangular method of blocking the upper body while moving and the men learned a more fierce striking and swiping method of pushing and rotating the attacker's upper body (structure breaking)while moving out of the line of attack. To further make sure we understood the process, Karimov and Sheshukov incorporated the almighty stick.

removing the body from the line of attack

removing only the head from the line of attack

And guys, you would get hit if you didn't get out of the way. Imagine handing a small child a baseball bat in a china shop and told him to have fun. This, was probably the quickest way I got it together. While it was not complete pressure testing at it's fullest, it was enough to get the point across.
Oh...and this wasn't just one session...this particular basic concept was a combined 6 - 7 hours of work throughout the next few days,if not more. Why? Because most of us were stuck in not using our bodies effectively and efficiently and neither instructor gave up and called it quits until we all got it. Each new methodology we learned in the forthcoming days, the "getting out of the line" technique was used. Knife disarming, sword work, hand to hand...all of it required a new, heavy dose of getting out of the line.

And as I pour through countless saved "Systema" videos from the last few years, specifically of what is considered "basic" type training, I notice that this is not readily taught here. It should be. And maybe I have just never heard anyone really mention it. I certainly struggled with the concept as did many others involved in the seminar (although most people had NO prior Systema knowledge at this specific event).It's basic level skill and could save your life.

Seminar Day 2:Is this really happening?

In retrospect, it is alot harder to write about the seminar weeks after it started. REALLY hard. While I took many notes and journaled on my Samsung Galaxy Note 4 (shameless plug) , I really thought I'd be able to remember details of 19 days of the seminar when I was able to sit down to write.
I was wrong..so, so wrong!
As we maneuvered our way through the subway systems on Day 2(really, it was the beginning of the seminar), I became increasingly nervous walking into the sports hall.
I had not trained in months, I knew more people I had only corresponded with on the net would be there and , I had not trained in months...(did I mention I had not trained in months?)... I was sore from just walking for 3 days around St. Petersburg and was still in shock by the 30 minute session I had three days prior with Mr. Karimov at Pushkin Park( he tried to teach us one simple technique, that still, completely fascinates me). I knew his style was different, but I had no idea what was about to happen next would really shake me to my own core...in a good way.
Once I walked into the gym, I slowly tried to become invisible, it didn't work. I wanted to be a fly on the wall and watch for a few minutes but I was incredibly unsuccessful.

Roman Khozeev

This is when Roman Khozeev approached me , in what seemed out of no where. Roman had been an huge inspiration and help in my first few weeks of working with Mr. Karimov online and helped me with tons of computer work... I never really thought I'd meet him, so actually meeting him, really overwhelmed me. Roman was very well known for his work with an anti-drinking campaign for men in his hometown of Perm, Russia. I followed his work pretty closely and enjoyed his photographs and music as well.He is one of the many, multi-talented individuals who attended this seminar and was more than willing to help me learn whatever I wanted. It was a huge surprise to see him and I tried not to cry.

Olga Malkova

Shortly after I met Roman, this very beautiful, dark haired woman approached me with open arms. Her name was Olga Malkova, and we connected immediately. I had only met Olga a week or so before my trip to Russia (online), but had seen her in a few videos. Her eyes were as orange as the sunset and her hair was almost dark black. She was beautiful and when she spoke, it almost sounded as though she was singing. Her English flowed even in it's choppy state and with everything she said, she had a smile on her face. Almost immediately, we began a knife drill where Olga and Roman quickly cleaned the floor with me. I.was.SCREWED!!! I never thought of myself as a cocky Systema practitioner , but more of a scrappy fighter turned Systema enthusiast. Olga and Roman made it seem like I had zero experience with knowing my own body and how it worked well enough to move freely. I was both devastated and delighted. By the way, Olga, did everything in a skirt and short heeled shoes. She was the epitome of being feminine and fierce.At the closing Systema circle, a few surprises took place. In walked Yuri Sheshukov

Yuri Sheshukov

and I immediately looked at Roman, then at Jesse , then back at Roman. I asked Roman if that was really Yuri. He nodded. I began crying then, smiling. I was not aware that Yuri would be present, but was told that he may try to show up ( perhaps this was one of my other suprises?).... shortly after Yuri walked in, the happiest suprise of them all happened. In walked in D.A.Kirillov. Dima(for short), is an instructor for the Talanov school of Systema and he and I became friends on the internet. I remember inviting him to the event and had asked a few times if he was coming, but did not actually think he would. When I saw him, I sprung up in the middle of the Systema circle and went to him. Of course, I cried. At some point, Dima began translating for our event. This was truly surreal....BUT, he also picked up a Balalaika

D.A.Kirillov having some balalaika lessons

and began playing..(luckily I have this on film). This was truly history in the making on so many levels. Forming an international supportive community of like minded individuals and groups that , while different, can still support each other, was something Mr. Karimov and I had discussed on occasion. We wanted everyone to get along and to work cohesively, but actually making that happen , seemed like a feat in of itself. Here was Dima, in his hometown, just hanging out with us. It was such a glorious moment that I went from crying to being so happy that I almost completely forgot where I was....almost.

D.A.Kirillov from Systema Talanov,myself and A.Karimov

Once Dima left, there was a new sense of celebration in the air. I believe this was one of the many nights that we would all stay up until 2 am singing and dancing and learning. There seemed to be so many people in the room that I even lost track of Jesse. The dancing continued at a raid pace and Mr. Karimov showed no signs of slowing down. Aerobically, I was screwed. Perhaps this was part of the plan to get us so exhausted that we could train with little or no tension.Ultimately, it worked for me. While there were a few folks who did not appreciate this style that this specific seminar was geared to, it made no difference to the rest of us. This became one of the greatest social experiments, dance groups, cultural experience, martial arts seminar and learning expositions ever! This was only day two.  Later that evening, we danced as a group in a style known as Kadril. The rapid movement of Kadril(see bottom of page for video), had me sweating in minutes and within an hour I was so exhausted that I forgot what time it was , nor did I care.
Many of us sat around and said " I cannot believe this is only Day 2!!". What else did Mr. Karimov have in store? What else would we learn? What were we learning about ourselves and each other...? What could this event teach us other than martial arts and combatives? Day 2 turned into one of the most beautiful and emotional days I had of the seminar....and it was only going to get better!
Not only did we have all these amazing experiences on Day 2, the Pravilo device was set up, Jesse had some one on one training with our "coach" Vladimir and the knife and stick work began to pick up in pace....! Day 2 was loaded with so much fun...no clue how it could be topped!! (It was...oh , it was....)

Jesse getting some one on one pointers from Coach Vladimir

Radik Valeev and his Pravilo device. A much needed stretch for after- training relaxation

Shaking off the whip strikes...zing!!!