The Power of a Skirt: Does A Skirt Have More Power Than You May Think?

The power and beauty of a skirt. 

I write this on the eve of many realizations...one being, that I have worn a dress or skirt consecutively for over a week now, trying to implement the self given "skirt-a-day" challenge. This idea came after I returned from Russia(actually, it was in the works there) and wanted to work on a few social ideologies that I witnessed during my time there that may or may not get the attention of a few people who knew me best back home.
While I'd like to think this idea/challenge really worked, to be honest..it was a bust.Not completely, not yet, because I told myself I would do 30 days and see how I felt after. The goal was simple, wear a skirt or dress for 30 days , see if I can get a few of my friends to join in the fun(sorry girls, I totally forgot to mention it) , and see if there are any social or behavioral changes in the people around me based on the fact that I am simply wearing a skirt.
Before the fem-police get called in...I have to go back to how this whole thing started.

While in Russia, I had the honor and privilege to train with a wonderful woman named Olga Malkova.

Olga Malkova...fierce.

At first glance, Olga seemed quite ravishing and shy. She has raven colored hair and orange eyes(ok maybe not "orange" but very light brown..certainly orange in the sun). Her smile almost sings and her voice matches her. She is very polite, courteous and graceful.
Oh...and she can probably kick your ass.
After a few days of being around Olga, she encouraged me to wear a skirt to training. I nearly fell out of my KEEN hiking shoes when she suggested it. My immediate thought was "what if I trip and fall?!!!" But once I took a look around the room, I noticed almost all the women were wearing skirts. None were falling because of them and ALL of the women looked really graceful and amazing. That night, I unpacked my completely crushed and wrinkled skirt (which I was advised to bring beforehand) and laid it out with great disdain. I had no idea what was going to happen or how even..I would walk to the gym..in a skirt...(I didn't. I changed clothes at the gym..because yes..I am that stubborn).

Olga and several of the other women, were really, really amazing practitioners and martial artists. For the entire time I studied and tried to train in Systema in the US, I complained and whined about the lack of female presence in the Systema community. I only knew of a handful of women who trained in it and we all kind knew of each other and it was nice, but some of us felt very ho-hum about training. I personally , was lucky that I had some great experiences with some great instructors but overall, I always felt like I was missing something or, that I was going to get killed on the mat. Either way, there certainly wasn't a balance and I had been told many times, Systema is not for women.
SO of course, my shock in finding Andrey Karimov and his almost even number of women vs men seminars, was astounding. When I asked him if he trained women or taught them Systema, he replied "Why wouldn't I? Women are a strong social aspect of the world and are great to learn from!"...um. wha?
Not at all like any answer I heard before and also the biggest reason I went to Russia to train with him. There were just as many women at this seminar as there were men, and it certainly helped for the dancing part! But to watch these women toss men around like it was easy, was beautiful all on it's own, and in fact, I would have to say the epitome of perhaps what "soft work" should be.

I digress....
The day I walked into the gym in my skirt(or one of them), you could hear a pin drop. It was awkward to say the least and I felt probably the most embarrassed I had ever felt in my life. The only other closest example I had to this feeling was when I went to a friend's house for her birthday party and her husband did not recognize me (after knowing me for 10+ years) because I was "cleaned up". In fact, he almost didn't let me in the house! Had I known this whole time that wearing a skirt had THIS much power, perhaps I would have done it more...
and that was precisely Olga's point. Not that there were any stipulations or feminazi rules about it, but she could fight, dance, swordplay, sing and then cook, all in a skirt, all without falling and all with not even breaking a sweat. She was fully in control of her body, her movement and her grace. She, was in CONTROL.

Please don't let me fall on film, with a sword
(that was my mantra)

nailed it..sort of.

Once I started training, I quickly realized how NOT in control I was. I damn near tripped over my skirt every 5 seconds and of course, this was the same day we filmed a swordplay video.(ARE YOU KIDDING ME???!!IN A SKIRT, ON FILM, WITH A SWORD ??!! UGHGHGH)... yes..that happened. Not only did the sword get caught in my skirt every 3 seconds, my frustration level was increasing and my mental state was getting frazzled. Now, this became a challenge. I looked around the room and not one other woman had this same issue, not even the female children. Not one. I was devastated, but trucked on.That night we danced until 2 am. I am pretty sure I mooned everyone there with the number of times I stepped on my skirt and pulled it down accidentally. Grace factor=zero.

The next day, I returned in my hiking pants(which fit by now because I was losing weight from all the physical activity), only to find the men AND women , slightly disappointed that I was not wearing a skirt again. AND, they told me about it!!! I almost felt bad that I had let them down, but wondered what all the fuss was about. The men told me I looked beautiful and the women said the same. It was probably the most compliments I had ever had, in my life.
Why would I not want more?
In fact, a few of the men and women asked if my own boyfriend treated me any different wearing a skirt and I had to embarrassingly admit, he did not. They encouraged me to wear skirts more often to represent a more graceful and feminine energy and maybe , he would hold my hand, or carry my things...maybe.

Of course, this single-handedly went against everything I strived for my entire adult female life. I wouldn't say I was a "feminist" but I would say that I could carry my own things,open a door and hell, I was known to have some of the most random, male dominated hobbies around. I'm not entirely sure if that's being a female in Texas , or just because I knew I had to do what made me happy. The cost was becoming obvious: I lost my feminine balance. Big time. Not only have I noticed in the past 2 years or so, that typically, I am the one holding the door open for men in public, but also I am the one fixing things, I am the one maintaining order..I was also, extremely exhausted. My body has slowly been giving off warning signs, everything from clusterheadaches to a horrific and nightmarish miscarriage. I was exhausting myself by doing everything and working hard to keep the ship from sinking.
But I didn't realize this until I was in Russia. During one of our discussions, one of the men told me how important it was for women to rest, therefore, the men
carried and chased after the young children from the time they could walk, until the children were self-sufficient. (Yeah, mom friends..we did it wrong).....He stated that women were really the driving force in the household and their support, love and nurturing spirit were all necessary to keep men motivated through anything;long work hours, financial loss or even..war.He also stated "this is why it's called "Mother Russia", she is revered.

not even his baby, ya'll, he's just helping.

This sentiment almost had me in tears. Mr. Karimov himself had told me that women were like a nuclear power plant and you never wanted it to explode....(LOL). And by the looks of how these men treated not only their own wives, but me, well there was something certainly to be said about it all.
I was slightly catered to, by some of the men in Russia. And by "catered to" I mean really, they were just attentive. If I looked too pensive , they checked to see if I was ok. Ran out of water?...some on the way...Raining? was covered up....Cold? Offered a jacket or to huddle in close. And usually, my arm was guided on almost every expedition we went on..in unison with many other women..... the women really were cared for. All of them.

Roman Khozeev knows how to do it right!!

Now, the personal debate for me was surely that it could not be just the skirt. However, in retrospect, what man would want to walk with a woman, who is not flowing gracefully with a long skirt, next to him? Not many. And when I brought up the actuality of what it is like in the states, that not many men walk around holding the hands of their female companions in the US, the Russian men were shocked.
Not only was this commonplace for the men in our group, it was common for the men to make sure if anyone else's wife was not accompanied, that one of them would make sure she was taken care of. All the women felt really, really safe. This was something I had not felt in ...well, ever.

Again, I was not sure if this was about the skirt, or about the maturity level of the men. All I can say
is that the women were amazing fighters and practitioners.
They were on point with their skill and grace and I learned so much from each one of them. The men did not take it easy on them in training and every female held her own. It was amazing and beautiful all at the same time. The women had an empowering tone overall and one that I admired daily. In fact, I sent a text message to a friend in the states and told her about this skirt phenomenon. While I waited for her response, I realized that I wore skirts before but usually on special occasions and that, on average, wearing a skirt on any other occasion other than a night out or church Sunday, meant you were a lazy , hippy female , who perhaps had no laundry left. Her response was exactly what I had thought in my head of when I personally stopped wearing skirts..."I usually only wear skirts when I don't have to chase the baby around".

this picture got alot of feedback on many levels

Almost simultaneously , I noticed one of the men in our group, carrying his baby and his
wife was training right next to him, in a skirt. To both their credits, they each trained with baby in hand and switched duties during training , so they could get equal amounts of time participating. This was not something I had going for me when my son was this age, but I could totally see the point of not wearing a skirt one your baby is walking...UNLESS , your male counterpart is equally responsible for the baby rearing.

yes..she took him out with a baby in hand.

Again, looking around the room, and in reflection of our trip, the parts of me that were lost in my personal journey, became the parts of me that were immediately brought back to the table. Often times, women lose their sense of identity when they become mothers and wives and they become all too secondary of a thought in a household. They are easily overlooked, unappreciated and even, left behind and this is exactly what happened to me. I became only "mom" and nothing more which almost everyone at the seminar noticed.....
getting to a point of how to change this , was almost all too much for me to deal with and at times, it is what certainly broke me at the seminar. My emotional state when from being numb, to wondering what I had done in my life and relationships, to how would I be able to recover..?? Yup..all from a skirt...

So, Olga's advice was simple..."Olivia..start small, start wearing a skirt and see how you feel , on the inside, the rest will radiate from within."

She's good, because yes, I feel great but really, the only person who noticed was another friend of mine who coincidentally , ALWAYS wears skirts and dresses. But I also noticed that she has amazing physical balance(she wears heels all the time) and I have literally seen her ask for help when she needs to carry something heavy and no one rolls their eyes at her(um, if I ask for help to carry something heavy, often times it is because I am being sarcastic---hence sub-issue part 2). While her encouragement for hanging in there with the skirt challenge is amazing, I wonder still, what social impact it will make on the people around me? What if I become someone who asks for help after years of not needing any? What if I become someone who can receive a compliment without snorting a sarcastic laugh after...? What if this skirt thing works wonders in my training balance and grace (something I've struggled with my entire adult life)???

Hopefully some of my skirt antics will be available on DVD or video soon and you too, can see my blunders during training with a skirt. So far, it's only day 9 of wearing a skirt and I've tripped and fallen twice, not bad at all. I rather enjoy the whole skirt thing and if you'd like to join in the challenge let me know!!

Cracking the Code: Unlocking the Secrets of Systema with Master Andrey Karimov.Part One

The following works were dictated by Systema Master, Andrey Karimov on his philosophies of Systema, personal growth and emotional health. Translated by Darya Antipina and interpreted by Olivia Overturf. This will be the beginning of a multi-layer series based on the work and study of Mr.Karimov. He welcomes your questions or comments following the articles. Enjoy...

The word " SYSTEMA"- the root of the  word, the main idea, is important.

Let's start with  "ST" in  SYSTEMA. 

ST as in "strength", you cannot divide the "S" and the "T". This is the nuclear part of the word that exists in all European languages and even other languages. 

The letter "S" resembles an "idea" or even the sound "sh" or "s" in different languages. As in a "wild idea". The "s" looks like a snake. God's idea temptates a person. God looks to how people incorporate this idea on Earth. For example, an individual can make an idea very bad, or very cruel. Also , an "s"alone is different than two"s's" as in "SS" like the Nazi "runes" for Schutzstaffel. Any good idea can transfer into a cruel ideology.

The "ST" that are commonly neighboring together and are found in the word "SYSTEMA"are a combination of the "soft s" and the "hard t". STat (СТать in the Russian language)is to shape the body, form,overall make-up of the human body. When you draw "ST" with the focal center points placed correctly, the letters transition from :

"ST" with focalized center

combination "S" and "T"

 "ST" with focal center to " the body"

Upright body with generated energy

The STat figure contains all the components of the psychological, physical and spiritual senses. First, the "ST" contain the mild "s" and the hard "t" which make a perfect balance. While it is essential that a person remain "hard" in their life, it is also important that a person remain soft. If a person is upright, he generates strong energy, if he is crooked, his structure is easy to break. The main goal is to be able to take strikes and punches both physically and psychologically.

Secondly, the idea of softness is important to understand so that our arms become soft and fluid to allow our hands to become sensitive. We must have this understanding so we can understand our own power. For example, if a robber is choking someone, he can easily kill them with "hard" hands, if he had no sensitivity. The "ST" in "SYSTEMA" embodies the balance of both "hardness" and "softeness".We must learn how to use this balance to not cause suffering and pain to others.

The "SY" in "SYSTEMA" defines "the circle". This is a group of like minded people who have the ability to communicate and speak to one another.

The communal Systema circle

This group, can work together effectively as a group rather than individually. Together, they can reach goals easily . How can we learn this ? From the Slavic language the word "GOI"(go-een). From this word "go" or "go to" in the superior sense. GOI = the truth (Istina), where God's sense is. Istina is where God's revelation is contained. At one point, all of us spoke the same language. Language is what taught us to be successful and prosperous. Language itself, can teach and show us these ideals....

(more in this series to come! stay tuned....)
You can follow Master Karimov on FB here.
His You Tube channel is available here.
For more information (in Russian ) you can go  to http://ladsistema.ru/

Move, Breathe, Relaxxxxxx !!!!

The words "move , breathe, relax" are commonly chanted in Systema (at least in the United States). In fact, I don't think I have ever been to a seminar or class where I have not heard it.
Recently, I was at a seminar where the visiting instructor said "remember..move, breathe, relax". I was half paying attention, because I was coloring with my stepdaughter off to the side, but I immediately looked up and smiled. Before the class started, several of the men had been warming up by doing rolls, or "drills"(as they are formally called here). I, personally, was chatting away with my stepdaughter with no intentions of participating in the seminar because I was overcome with allergies.

I think the instructor may have said something along the lines of "guys, the best way to relax is to....RELAX!!!". Bingo. There it was. He said it and almost everyone looked at him like he had 8 heads. I smiled again.

Since I had been sort of online training with Andrey Karimov, one of the main topics of discussion has been psychological training. Yes..you read that right. PSYCHOLOGICAL training. Here in the U.S., one of the focal points of Systema are squats, sit ups, pushups and rolls. Very few times have I been to any type of Systema demo or class where this was not how class started out. In fact, at one major international seminar I went to, I think I attempted a combination of at least 200 of these.
When I asked the instructor the reason behind the "grunt" work he simply said "to break the psyche".

Um....what?
Immediately my internal monologue that switches to vocal retort had to turn on to mute.
It took everything I had to not say the following..
" I am a single mother, with two, maybe three jobs at times. I am a cancer survivor, a PTSD survivor, and have multiple medical conditions. The fact that I am 35 years old and still able to walk, is a miracle. Pretty sure my psyche has been broken."
Luckily for me, I never said it outloud. I understood , for the most part, WHY this was done, but I felt surely there had to be a better way. A softer way.

As the next few days of the international seminar unfolded during the "psyche breaking drills",I lay face down on the gymnasium floor, daydreaming about donuts and coffee, and how many souvenirs I can cram into my luggage before I head home. I briefly glanced up at the instructor who was standing immediately to my right. He had a huge smile on his face...I said in a quiet voice " I'm breaking my psyche..shhhhhhh". By the third day of the seminar, I pretty much checked out of the "psyche breaking" part all together. I became highly focused on how everyone else was going all out to  achieve their maximum effort of each exercise. It didn't help that I had recently had a conversation with a fellow Systema practitioner who said " I don't really go to seminars...you pay $300 + to do a bunch of stuff your home instructor probably already taught you".

When I first started conversations with Mr. Karimov, I secretly began planning my trip to Russia. I was  am all but convinced that he has something that I, maybe we desperately need here in the U.S. I had way too many questions to ask him on Facebook ( still do). I asked him at one point " what do I need to do to prepare myself if I go to Russia to train with you?"
His answer , "nothing".

Um, what? NOTHING???!! As in "not one thing"? No pushups, squats, rolls? Nothing physical? Lose 20 pounds, start lifting weights? Nothing?

I quickly realized what he was getting at. Why not just learn? Why not just go and be organic? There's so much to learn, how do you know what to prepare someone about if you don't know the psyche of that person? In my head, I thought "awesome, I don't have to start doing a million rolls" but my heart was pounding . My previous U.S. Systema mentality kept rearing up it's ugly head. How can I not prepare..what does he really mean?
He means what I have said to myself everytime someone says "oooooh you should watch (fill in the blank) Systema video of (fill in the blank) instructor. It's REALLLLLLY good."
I don't watch Systema videos. Or..didn't , until I watched Mr. Karimov's. I immediately became a fan. I have now watched so many that I can't even remember which ones I've watched and which ones I haven't. I never watched Systema videos because I really, reallllly am a fan of learning without preconceived notions of what is supposed to happen and what I should be learning. And, in fact, if you watch enough Systema videos(or enough of the wrong ones) you may end up not even going to a class.

Mr.Karimov's videos are full of music playing in the background, usually by him. He plays an instrument called the "balalaika". It's is a pitchy, guitar/banjo instrument, that has a bit of intricate artwork on it.

Andrey Karimov and Balalaika

This, THIS is how he breaks the psyche. Music. He plays at an alarmingly fast paced, loud rate. He very methodically watches his students as he's doing this. The tempo changes ( I have yet to figure out if he is changing it to the pace of his students or if he is changing it to CHANGE the pace of his students or if there is even a reason). Whatever the reason, it works. If you watch the videos (muted) you may flinch a few times at some of the "work" that is being done. If you unmute it, you just notice, movement. You may also notice a few smiles. For me, this idea works.
Why is this not done here? If you are a serious practitioner, I challenge you to ask yourselves that. Is there a reason we "pump" up to partake in a martial art, that explicitly asks that you remain "relaxed"? Is there a reason we need to be reminded constantly to " move, breathe, relax"?
 Some may say " the drills at the beginning of class are to break the psyche, that is it". Here's a little note on that...
Not once, since I've been "learning" from Mr. Karimov, has he ever described ANY of the work he does as "drills". Not once. Why? Maybe because for him and the amazing people that train with him, THIS IS THEIR WAY OF LIFE. They actually incorporate Systema as a lifestyle . Not a weekly class that you show up to.A "drill" implies that it is something only to be implemented when needed or for training purposes. A "drill" makes it seem like an exercise you must learn to be successful. If it is just something you do, then it is just something you do.
And to make things even more interesting, I am not even sure Mr. Karimov has a training/class schedule. He has a zillion and one seminars, that include full immersion in all aspects of what he teaches...including psychological work. That's right...PSYCHOLOGICAL.
One simply cannot learn how to run, without learning how to crawl then walk..we all KNOW this, but why , why are we not being taught this? Why is Systema here in the US taught without any type of psychological emphasis of remaining human? We are told "remain human" but , do most practitioners know what that means? Why are we not sat down with pen and paper, to discuss why this part of Systema is so very crucial to making you the best practitioner you can be?
Is it marketing? Is it watered down version? Is there something more? What are we really not learning?
Relaxing, to become a better martial artist, sounds weird at first, but really, it is highly effective. When I did finally jump into training at the seminar with "RELAXXXX" instructor, I found myself completely floating when we did our "drills" together. He had me up and on the ground in the matter of seconds. We playfully trained and he was so incredibly smooth that I felt, personally, THIS is what I want. THIS.
In fact, when I asked Mr. Karimov what he would like to do while he is here in the U.S.( I plan on selling a kidney to get him here) he just wrote "PLAY".

Yup.Me too...me too.

To watch more of Mr. Karimov's videos on You Tube :

http://www.youtube.com/user/nrooLad/videos

The path to....many paths

First of all, let me start off by saying... I am not a martial arts expert. Hold all your "how long you been training?" questions for someone who cares. I am just a bold female, with a bold perception and a permeating taste for the truth. The words "tradition" , " warrior" , "honor" , "integrity" all ring feverishly in my ears.
If you are into store bought gimmicks, following the median lines of typical consumeristic bullshit, please move on.If you are afraid to ask yourself "what am I REALLY doing?"
This blog is not for you.
If you are moderately interested in learning a little more about  culture , traditions, sensational people and experiences, please stay tuned. If you are searching for a way to reconnect with life, people,yourself....I hope you can be inspired.

Secondly ,
I was wholeheartedly inspired by one person. Period. The shear fact that I met this person, was in truest form, kismet. I had no intentions of forcing myself into his life, yet..here I am..all up in it.
This man is Andrey Karimov.

Never heard of him? Me either.
Wanna find out more?
Me too.
And we will, together, I promise.
Life is too short NOT to seek out what really matters. For me right now, what matters most, is that I TRY and live my life to the best , fullest, most enriched I can. I spent the last 6 months battling for my own life, my health, my psyche...so this...is no small task at all. I will be the very first to admit, I am a complete hot mess. But being a hot mess, lead me to do some serious soul searching, and hot damn, if I didn't find some part of my lost self.
The journey I've been on to get to this point, is mind boggling. There has not been a day that has gone by since I've met Mr. Karimov, that I haven't asked myself "how the f*ck did I get here?"
Not one day.
Mr.Karimov has all but allowed me into glimpses of a Traditional Cossack past, that I had absolutely ZERO knowledge of more than a month ago. He has allowed me to randomly pick his brain, ask the weirdest of questions and Google Translate ourselves into the world of foreign culture. And through this savant-like human being I have learned more than enough to die absolutely happy.And, I know there is more.
He is an effervescent reminder that...we all came from somewhere ; we all need to belong.

I'm only writing from my personal experiences. I am not much of a writer, more of a story teller. I will try not to rant, rage, or otherwise. Along this journey, I have encountered some of the nicest, meanest, douchiest, sweetest people ever. I've witnessed tragedy, triumph, love, loss, defeat and resurrection. I've lost friends, made enemies and made better friends....and bigger enemies.
As much as I think this blog may be about working and learning from Mr. Karimov, I have a feeling it will be much , much more.







"When a tradition gathers enough strength to go on for centuries, you don't just turn it off one day."

Chinua Achebe