Today, I dropped my son off at school, in what I like to call "the drop off/pick up lane of doom". It is an intricate barrage of SUVs, small cars, students, angry parents, rushing parents, disrespectful people, and well...an all out nightmare. On any given morning or afternoon, you will hear honking, witness near fender-benders, and even see a few kids almost get hit by cars. The speed limit is 20 mph, but you'd think it's 200. I digress.
Today was very typical. I guided my car near the sidewalk so my son can unload his belongings and prance off into his morning limelight, while I sit and wait in my car for maybe 10 minutes to let some of the mania die down.
I carefully, always, inch my very brightly colored car into the street and turn onto whatever the nearest side street is to escape all this. This maneuver, requires a ton of skill, faith and patience, even thought it's just a simple turn.
You have to have full faith when going through this. Not in yourself, but in the person that *hopefully* will let you cut in front of them to make the turn. Usually, you are up against someone in an SUV , who is rushing to get out of there as quickly as you are. This person, must give you the "ok" to proceed, and if you do so, you have to assume they are helping you make a safe decision.
Assume.
I never assume the person who is telling me it's "ok" to go ahead and slide in front of them, is 100% trustworthy. Yet , everyday, when we drive..we , as a whole , do this.
While I was waiting my turn, a woman motioned the "ok" to proceed. I held my hand up , motioning back for her to wait. She flayed her hand at me again, with a bit of an aggressive tone. I motioned her to "wait" again.
What she didn't see, and what I was looking at, was a mom in a small car, on a side street, trying to slowly inch her way past everyone, who evidently, had a crying baby in the backseat. She kept looking back to the backseat, reaching down, looking back, reaching...trying just to get out of where we were. I had been there. Anyone knows, if you have a screaming infant in the backseat of a car, you just want to get home.
The woman, in the SUV, had become increasingly frustrated at my lack of following her command, and gunned her truck. At the same moment, the frantic mom, inched almost directly into the SUV. I was in the middle of trying to motion to the mom to stop, when this happened. Luckily no one was hurt and we all slid out of there as though it was just an everyday malfunction.
I pulled over and took a deep breath.THIS, was exactly what I just went through in my everyday life.
When we hear about things from other people, about how great they are, and we become interested..we may partake, sign up , attend..etc. If we like what's going on ,we become regulars, or attendees , students.This could apply to anything. Music, dance, yoga..martial arts...
When we follow leaders that we feel may be a good match for us, we aren't really thinking much about it. If it feels right, we go with it. If they treat you poorly, we assume, it was something we did, and trek on.
We don't think much of their guidance into "traffic" . We put a ton of faith that these people,that act as though they know what they are doing, that's why we are all there. Nodding in unison.
We may be wrong....but no one says anything. No one questions it. Not in the open, anyway.
When you begin to get a better sense of "hmmm, that wasn't the first time I was mistreated(led into oncoming traffic), you start to really question yourself. Why am I here? What was I thinking? What have I been putting up with? And when you back away, as sad as it may be, you gain some clarity and insight. You see the bigger picture, ingest, and pick up the pieces .
When you get trapped by the misguidance and advice of several of these people at once, you feel one of a few things 1) surely, all these people can't be untrustworthy, 2)surely, they would stand by me as they said they would, 3) surely, they won't guide me into some traffic and leave me there to get hammered into. Surely, they wouldn't.
But they can, have and will. If this happens, alot of people suggest, just staying quiet, slipping away, and letting yourself become a victim , since..these , after all...are some pretty noted leaders.
In my experience, there is no right way to deal with getting led into heavy or dangerous traffic by strangers. At the end of the day, you are responsible for yourself and expecting people to remain by your side, is almost an impossible feat.
Take care of yourself, the best you can...it may be a fight, may mean you make some enemies, it may mean, you , by your own sword, determine your fate. But don't do what THEY want you to do. After all, they are the ones that took you there.
All experiences, are learning lessons. Take what you can, from any of them. If you total your car, because someone guided you incorrectly, YOU will still be without a car. However...you may get another one,a newer one, or learn the bonus of public transportation. If you lose friends, because someone misguided you, you may realize, those people..really weren't your friends in the first place, BUT you will make new friends, and maybe even better ones...and , you will now officially know what to look for in a mentor( I hope).
This leads me back to Andrey Karimov.
Initially, I stopped training Systema with any schools, because I felt like I was not getting out of it what I needed. I wanted something a little more holistic, lively, fun..real.
I watched a few of Mr. Karimov's videos online , and noticed a few things:
1) kids- he has almost as many videos working with children(with adults) as he does of knife work, whip work, and other training
2)music-there is music(usually he plays the instrument himself) in almost every video. In fact,in our house..we walk around humming the familiar tune .
3)smiles-even some of what seems to be the most complex and face cringing moves, you will notice a few smiles and even laughter here and there.
4)camaraderie- Andrey has camps and all inclusive seminars. He does't seem isolated from his group. He is fully involved in what he teaches. FULLY.
5)passion. This man..is probably more passionate about what he teaches than I am about what kind of donuts I eat. If you knew me, you'd know what that means.
I couldn't ask for a better path to go down. I couldn't have hand picked a better person to talk to about Systema, than him. He gives me hope and encouragement ( even though I didn't think I needed it), far beyond what I could have expected. He is delightful , helpful and full of knowledge. At the very least, he is inspirational. At best, he forces you to really, really think.
Someone recently contacted me and said , " THIS man you are aligning yourself with is a bully!Just look at him, look at how he trainssss..LOOOOOK AT HIMMMMMM! I will help you , figure out what YOU want!!!"
I'm sorry, what?
A) I didn't ask
B)If he is so horrible, why has he spent so much of his free time talking to me, and showing me a part of his magically traditional life? (no instructor here, has done that.ever).
C)You TELLING me, that someone is a bully, then TELLING me I need to stop associating with him is, kinda by definition, now making you a bully.
D)Considering what I just went through with a group of male "martial artists" threatening, backstabbing and trash talking me, I'm still here, out in the open..I **think** I'll be ok.
At the end of the day...they are all life lessons. I will do as I please, step on some toes, make friends, make enemies, make choices.
But most certainly, I will NOT be misguided by anyone into oncoming traffic again.
To watch more of Andrey Karimov's work with children, check out this video:
Andrey Karimov children and adult combo class.
.
To learn more about bullying and how to detect or stop it visit : Stop Bullying Now
To find out how to find a good martial arts instructor, simple tips on choosing an instructor
Today was very typical. I guided my car near the sidewalk so my son can unload his belongings and prance off into his morning limelight, while I sit and wait in my car for maybe 10 minutes to let some of the mania die down.
I carefully, always, inch my very brightly colored car into the street and turn onto whatever the nearest side street is to escape all this. This maneuver, requires a ton of skill, faith and patience, even thought it's just a simple turn.
You have to have full faith when going through this. Not in yourself, but in the person that *hopefully* will let you cut in front of them to make the turn. Usually, you are up against someone in an SUV , who is rushing to get out of there as quickly as you are. This person, must give you the "ok" to proceed, and if you do so, you have to assume they are helping you make a safe decision.
Assume.
While I was waiting my turn, a woman motioned the "ok" to proceed. I held my hand up , motioning back for her to wait. She flayed her hand at me again, with a bit of an aggressive tone. I motioned her to "wait" again.
What she didn't see, and what I was looking at, was a mom in a small car, on a side street, trying to slowly inch her way past everyone, who evidently, had a crying baby in the backseat. She kept looking back to the backseat, reaching down, looking back, reaching...trying just to get out of where we were. I had been there. Anyone knows, if you have a screaming infant in the backseat of a car, you just want to get home.
The woman, in the SUV, had become increasingly frustrated at my lack of following her command, and gunned her truck. At the same moment, the frantic mom, inched almost directly into the SUV. I was in the middle of trying to motion to the mom to stop, when this happened. Luckily no one was hurt and we all slid out of there as though it was just an everyday malfunction.
I pulled over and took a deep breath.THIS, was exactly what I just went through in my everyday life.
When we hear about things from other people, about how great they are, and we become interested..we may partake, sign up , attend..etc. If we like what's going on ,we become regulars, or attendees , students.This could apply to anything. Music, dance, yoga..martial arts...
When we follow leaders that we feel may be a good match for us, we aren't really thinking much about it. If it feels right, we go with it. If they treat you poorly, we assume, it was something we did, and trek on.
We don't think much of their guidance into "traffic" . We put a ton of faith that these people,that act as though they know what they are doing, that's why we are all there. Nodding in unison.
We may be wrong....but no one says anything. No one questions it. Not in the open, anyway.
When you begin to get a better sense of "hmmm, that wasn't the first time I was mistreated(led into oncoming traffic), you start to really question yourself. Why am I here? What was I thinking? What have I been putting up with? And when you back away, as sad as it may be, you gain some clarity and insight. You see the bigger picture, ingest, and pick up the pieces .
When you get trapped by the misguidance and advice of several of these people at once, you feel one of a few things 1) surely, all these people can't be untrustworthy, 2)surely, they would stand by me as they said they would, 3) surely, they won't guide me into some traffic and leave me there to get hammered into. Surely, they wouldn't.
But they can, have and will. If this happens, alot of people suggest, just staying quiet, slipping away, and letting yourself become a victim , since..these , after all...are some pretty noted leaders.
In my experience, there is no right way to deal with getting led into heavy or dangerous traffic by strangers. At the end of the day, you are responsible for yourself and expecting people to remain by your side, is almost an impossible feat.
Take care of yourself, the best you can...it may be a fight, may mean you make some enemies, it may mean, you , by your own sword, determine your fate. But don't do what THEY want you to do. After all, they are the ones that took you there.
All experiences, are learning lessons. Take what you can, from any of them. If you total your car, because someone guided you incorrectly, YOU will still be without a car. However...you may get another one,a newer one, or learn the bonus of public transportation. If you lose friends, because someone misguided you, you may realize, those people..really weren't your friends in the first place, BUT you will make new friends, and maybe even better ones...and , you will now officially know what to look for in a mentor( I hope).
This leads me back to Andrey Karimov.
Initially, I stopped training Systema with any schools, because I felt like I was not getting out of it what I needed. I wanted something a little more holistic, lively, fun..real.
I watched a few of Mr. Karimov's videos online , and noticed a few things:
1) kids- he has almost as many videos working with children(with adults) as he does of knife work, whip work, and other training
2)music-there is music(usually he plays the instrument himself) in almost every video. In fact,in our house..we walk around humming the familiar tune .
3)smiles-even some of what seems to be the most complex and face cringing moves, you will notice a few smiles and even laughter here and there.
4)camaraderie- Andrey has camps and all inclusive seminars. He does't seem isolated from his group. He is fully involved in what he teaches. FULLY.
5)passion. This man..is probably more passionate about what he teaches than I am about what kind of donuts I eat. If you knew me, you'd know what that means.
I couldn't ask for a better path to go down. I couldn't have hand picked a better person to talk to about Systema, than him. He gives me hope and encouragement ( even though I didn't think I needed it), far beyond what I could have expected. He is delightful , helpful and full of knowledge. At the very least, he is inspirational. At best, he forces you to really, really think.
Someone recently contacted me and said , " THIS man you are aligning yourself with is a bully!Just look at him, look at how he trainssss..LOOOOOK AT HIMMMMMM! I will help you , figure out what YOU want!!!"
I'm sorry, what?
A) I didn't ask
B)If he is so horrible, why has he spent so much of his free time talking to me, and showing me a part of his magically traditional life? (no instructor here, has done that.ever).
C)You TELLING me, that someone is a bully, then TELLING me I need to stop associating with him is, kinda by definition, now making you a bully.
D)Considering what I just went through with a group of male "martial artists" threatening, backstabbing and trash talking me, I'm still here, out in the open..I **think** I'll be ok.
At the end of the day...they are all life lessons. I will do as I please, step on some toes, make friends, make enemies, make choices.
But most certainly, I will NOT be misguided by anyone into oncoming traffic again.
To watch more of Andrey Karimov's work with children, check out this video:
Andrey Karimov children and adult combo class.
.
To learn more about bullying and how to detect or stop it visit : Stop Bullying Now
To find out how to find a good martial arts instructor, simple tips on choosing an instructor
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