I personally asked George to describe an incident that occurred with the two of us when we trained together for the first time, here in Austin, Texas. His reaction to working with me was so powerful and strong,that it became one of the most moving experiences I've had in my life. His honesty and candor is something that many men lack in the arts. I value George's insight and work and am honored to know him.(side note: I earned the nickname "Medusa" in many training and one on one scenarios...women harness an energy rarely matched by men. I'm not embarrassed or ashamed by this, as many great female heroines,spies,assassins used their eyes and energy to control a situation. George is one of the very few (2) men that have stopped me dead in my tracks and caused an energy shift. Take note fellas.)
Emasculation in Training
Martial Arts (Siberian Cossack Systema)
November 20, 2015
George Borrelli Systema Colorado Springs
I have experienced where certain women seem to be able to counter my
Systema martial art work, arresting my abilities to get “control”. In
this discussion, to keep it interesting, we will address sex, love,
fear, your mamma, and finally, dancing like you are Agent 007, James Bond.
After a lifetime of martial arts and nearly five years of Russian
Systema, I'm significantly challenged working with roughly 1 in 100 men,
but I'm challenged with most women! The men I struggle with are not just
the larger and stronger men, it isn't necessarily their size. So what is
going wrong and why?
In the cooperative training, while learning, you need a kind of
commitment or honesty to the charge/attack from your partner. Without
that commitment, most of the concepts and techniques are not of great
use. Additionally you need a kind of “lost in the movement” psychology
of the attacker. If the attacker does Systema very well deceptively in
his attack, then things get evened out, more or less. So that is one of
the challenges. You have to make clear when you want your attacker to
have honest intention or a deceptive Systema deceptive and evasive style
of attack.
In the Systema defense, and counters, as should be in most all martial
arts, you cannot “look down”. You can't focus upon the knife hand nor
the punching hand at the cost of not seeing the entire person and
keeping your head up. You must see everything from an upright, balanced,
structured “dancing position”. Watching the hand makes your response
too slow as the hand is just too fast to catch up with. We say that the
speeding train already left the station is much to hard to catch.
Instead, you should stay aware of the total person in an upright
position. This gives you a fighting chance to catch the movement.
As important, you must take the subtle lead of the engagement, similar
to the lead role that a man has in couples dancing. That “lead” or
“frame” to the outside observer, is mostly evident by your structure and
poise, where you look, but there is an internal aspect as well.
Certain women are naturals at using psychological warfare. They have a
“gaze” that can cause you to look elsewhere. Their gaze is behind an
intimidating power. That gaze, if it gets you to look away, takes your
power, focus, posture and ability to work well.
I will explain what I think is happening inside the man when this occurs
at the hands of this special woman. If a woman looks at you with
love-dominating power, as your mother, as a lover, as a demon; that
intensity is something we avoid automatically. We avoid the eye contact,
and sometimes much worse occurs in us.
Culturally we men are taught proper behavior with women. We are not to
challenge mother. We cannot have (even feel) love with a woman other
than “the chosen or assigned” woman, our wife, girlfriend, and/or lover.
In part it is fear because we do not trust ourselves. We also feel fear
because we don't trust this woman putting her “spell” on us. We also can
feel inadequate with a woman's strong and powerful emotions as expressed
in her eyes and body energy. As a man, if we cannot be dominant we feel
in trouble, sometimes we feel emasculated. In effect, we “cannot keep it
up” in the face of such challenge. We “go limp” in the face of this
pressure. Please forgive the sexual connotations, there is no real sex
involved. But this is a dance between the two sexes, so the imagery
works here.
I think something similar happens when a very high level male Master is
demonstrating with you, you tend to be dis- empowered in the moment. You
don't want to challenge him. It wouldn't be appropriate, even if he asks
for it, there are many fears that will prevent you. You fall under his
spell.
In a similar manner, an energetic, confident, and emotionally strong
woman can “take your breath away” and take your power away in the
moment. She does this with a force from within her. That force may be
the force of fearlessness. I say it may also include “love”. To me, that
state of “love” is a state where there is no fear, no anger, no worries,
but a complete deep absorption of the moment and of you. A woman who is
able to love deeply and fearlessly can have that power. Not all women
are able to be quite this present in the heat of the new attack/defense
against a stronger man. Sometimes the energy works against her.
At my first ever training in Texas at the Siberian Cossack Systema, is
where I first met Olivia Overturf. The first time I trained with her, I
experienced something like a complete “castration”, a loss of my ability
to call my normal levels of power. I was “limp”, and I simply couldn't
do the work. I was unable to look at her eyes and face. Since her face
was “in my face”, I automatically felt a need to look away, and
downwards. Looking downwards took my energy, balance, ability to see her
movement in time. I was beaten by her heart, strength, presence, love
power. She was fully in the moment, and that rocked me. She took the
lead of the dance away from me. As a good training partner should, she
helped me by pointing out that I looked away from her eyes and looked
down to the floor. That was quite helpful.
The next opportunity to work with Olivia, I was very cognizant of her
energetic abilities and the affect it can have. I have “danced” with
powerful women before. When I saw her “fire”, I immediately “shifted”
and “became” like “James Bond”. In the movie series, “007”, the hero,
James Bond often danced and made love with a woman sent to kill him. He
simply rose to the occasion. He still embraced and danced with all the
poise and correct posture, he still loved her, but at the same time,
took her balance, and played the man's role in couples dancing, he was
the male lead. But remember that this is a softer lead as in dancing
rather than a brutish behavior. A brutish lead has tension and would be
detected and countered. She would not follow.
So when I felt Olivia's powerful gaze this time, I looked into her eyes,
opened my heart fearlessly and “Became Bond”. My energy and my center
was The Center, not hers. I led her about the “dance floor”.
Little did I know and little did I care, that she had a blade hidden
with a premeditated intent to kill, outside of the choreographed
practice. But I was “in charge” - without being forceful, fully aware,
fully present, taking the lead that she had to follow. My having the
lead interrupted her plan, she was stuck in her own OODA (Observe Orient
Decide Act) loop. I would say she was stuck in the first “O”, observation.
The lesson? You must remain centered, no matter what. If you get
attacked by a strong person who can manipulate heart, love, fears,
deeply inside of your heart, your past, your deepest emotions, your past
pain, you must rise to the occasion! The same is true with a physically
and muscularly powerful person, don't let his power prevent you from
being the gentle lead of the dance of self defense or fighting.
Stay centered young man, take charge, become “Bond”. Keep your head up
and your calm awareness working, and by all means be a gentleman … but
lead the dance!
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